Dear Men, She’s Not Your Slave. Dear Women, He’s Not Your ATM

Posted: February 5, 2019

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All the men and women out there who blindly follow the stereotype set about a particular gender, need to change their thinking and mindset.

Men, yes, you men!

Most men think that women are stupid, only love shopping, do not have any constructive work to do, should be submissive, should be the only one doing all the household work all alone, should handle the house all alone, should look after the kids all alone and so on. Then why did you marry her? You should have hired someone. If you can’t support her, if you can’t help her around, if you can’t do things for her, then how is she called “the other half”?

I understand you men ‘do your job’, attend meetings and bring home the earning for her. But does that give you the right to overpower her? Does that mean you will come home and remove all your frustration on her while she herself was busy all day, and looking after your home? While she herself was frustrated about ten other things? She should serve you and do everything perfectly for you and your family, but have you asked her how was her day? What she wants to do? What are her dreams and goals?

Respect her interests and her views

Have you asked her what she likes? She is not expecting you to just buy her expensive gifts during occasions, because all that doesn’t matter if you do not treat her right during other days. Be it your mother, your sister, your wife, or any other women, they have a life too. They are not your hired slaves. They are not here to tolerate your anger just because you had a bad day. Be Polite. Learn to control your anger, not the women in your house. Learn to communicate and respect other’s profession and emotions. Even if she is at home all day, she might have done double the work you did at office.

She needs you to understand her and listen to her. She needs you to be her partner and help her with things around because it’s not only her home or only her kids. Your little efforts and participation will be enough. No one is telling you to come home and cook everything and do everything. Help. Support. Listen. Understand. And be kind towards her. She gets tired too, just like you do. She is not your slave!

And now, for women

Most women, when asked about what type of a partner they want, come up with, well settled and well-off, rich. Like seriously? Do you want a life partner or an ATM card? Life is full of struggles which won’t come knocking at your door. If a man is rich today, he might face a trial tomorrow and lose everything he had. What will you do then? Leave him and search another ATM machine for your expenses? A man who is struggling and working hard might crack a huge deal and become a millionaire.

No one can predict what the future holds

Love is all about supporting and struggling together. Building an empire together. Stop expecting him to do it all for you and serve you. Support him. Encourage him. Appreciate him for whatever he does. He works hard to let the smile on your face and your family, never fade. He needs you to motivate him during his weak times and hold his hand during times he feels lost. He needs you too, just like you do. Be his cheerleader. Listen to his stories about how he cracked the deal, rather than only bombarding with your own issues.

Communicate. Just like you need love care and attention, he needs it all too. He deserves surprises and little treats just like you do. He deserves to be loved right. Make him feel you are with him through every thick and thin, through good days and bad days, be it anything. Make him feel blessed for having you rather than stressed for not fulfilling your demands. He is not your ATM, he’s your man who needs your support and understanding.

Men and women, both need to understand and support each other. You are both unique people. Accept each other with each others flaws and motivate each other to be a better person.

A version of this was first published here.

Image source: a still from the movie Tumhari Sulu

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