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When we made a mistake, our elders yelled at us or told us to hide our flaws. Is it a surprise that we feel isolated and depressed?
Many in the generation born during the 90’s and after, are either sad or not content and happy with their lives. Suicide rates in India have kept rising and no one truly knows the cause.
How have the roots of depression made their way into the hearts of the youth? Well, the causes are countless and the symptoms start from a very young age when we’re taught to hide our insecurities under the carpet.
We were never heard or allowed to speak our minds. “Tum abhi bacche ho, tumhe itni samjh kahan” (You’re still a child, you lack the wisdom to understand) was thrown at us whenever we wanted to speak. That’s where we learned to keep quiet, even when we had thousands of doubts and questions in our mind.
Whenever we made a mistake, our elders either yelled at us, blamed us or made us follow what they said. We continued to do what we wanted to and that’s when we learned to hide things and commit more mistakes.
We were always pushed to be the best and forced to participate in the rat race. Why? To show it off to the society. We were made to believe that if our grades are not satisfactory, we’re good for nothing. We will never be able to achieve anything in life if we aren’t scoring well enough.
Education is important, no doubt, but an average student in academics could be an artist, could ace some other field of their interest. That’s when we learned to start comparing ourselves with others, that’s when the roots of self doubt and low self esteem crept within us.
“Humaare time pe toh ye bhi nahi tha, humaare time humne ye kiya, woh kiya.” (We didn’t have these facilities when we were young, in our time, we did this, we did that…)
It would’ve been tough during your time but now, it isn’t easy for us either. We sympathise with you that you had to see such hard days, but why are we being pushed to our limits to fit in? Just because we have resources , doesn’t mean it’s easy. Instead of comparing our situations with yours, the elders could’ve supported us. But no, we were pushed to be someone we’re not.
We were not allowed to discuss sensitive topics and when we grew up, we were expected to understand it all on our own.
We were always ordered and expected to obey the orders; why? Because “Tumhare badey tumhare liye sahi faisla lenge.” (Your elders will make the right decision for you).
No doubt they want the best for us but what about we as individuals want? We might make mistakes, we might fall; just like you did and learned during your times, so will we. “Humne tumse zyaada duniya dekhi hai, great, humey bhi toh apni aankhon se dekhne do.” (We’ve seen more of the world than you, great, but let us see it with our own eyes too?)
We want to have our own experiences. Guide us but don’t pressurise us to follow things which we do not want to. Our career should be our own choice, not something you can flaunt to the world. We live in a society and we need to follow the rules of society, but this society itself isn’t flawless.
How? You were the ones who yelled at us the first time we did a mistake. You were the ones who laughed at our insecurities. You were the ones who taunted us. You were the ones who discussed our lives as gossip in a family gathering. We so wanted to share the things that happened with us – but we were always asked to keep quiet. The things we wanted to talk and discuss about, weren’t “right” according to the society that we’ve been trying to please for years.
“Aisa kaunsa gamm hai tumko, thoda sabko sehna padta hai.” (What do you have to cry about? Everyone has to bear a little hardship). If only you wanted to know like you were really concerned, if only you had heard us, we wouldn’t have locked ourselves in the room. We wouldn’t have cried ourselves to sleep at night. We wouldn’t have been this weak.
We wish you would’ve have stood against this society in our defence, every time someone else tried to pull us down, every time someone else commented on our physical appearance, our career and choices. We wish we could have had conversations about love at home without making it look like a crime – so we would’ve known what is infatuation, what’s toxic love and what true love is.
We wish it was easy to talk about our issues to our elders, our immediate family and friends, so that we wouldn’t have a need to rely on others. We’re a sad generation; the roots of sadness and depression made a room in our hearts. Are we to be blamed?
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Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
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Relatives kissing children's penises made me wonder how this is leaving boys vulnerable to potential abuse under the garb of affection.
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