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Every man who wakes up early in the morning to earn a living for his family is under pressure - no matter what work they do or on what position they are.
Right from an early age the men are made to believe that they have to take up all the responsibilities of their family be it financial or emotional. So they have to work hard and choose a profession through which they can support their family and provide them with a better life.
But did anyone ever ask them what they want to do? What are their life goals are apart from giving a better life to their family? What they really wanted to do in life?
They have been fed with the idea of, ‘being the man of the house’ from an early age itself. In a large part of the patriarchal world and most part of the western world too – man is always seen as the provider and protector. Way before the satellites broadcasted the feministic ideas to us, man was always considered as the one who pays the full bill. Period. This transcends all cultures, races, religions of the world.
And since then, imagine the pressure and grind they go through just because they have to give a better life to their family. Whether it is taking a 9 to 9 job, or cleaning roads, or being a conductor or being the owner of the company. Every man who wakes up early in the morning to earn a living for his family is under pressure – no matter what work they do or on what position they are.
There are men who leave at 5 in the morning , catch a train with a heavy bag on their back and duties on their head, grinding every single day to give a happy and content life to their family. Why isn’t anybody talking about the struggle these men go through every day? They leave early in the morning, come home late and then also have to deal with all the other issues in the family. There are men who stay away from their family for a whole year, to again, ‘earn a better living for the family’. Unfortunately, you will seldom see these men doing things for themselves.
They won’t go around spending money for themselves. No. It’s always for their loved ones and to give them all the comfort they want. Men sacrifice too. They have their own battles to fight every day. Pending work, meetings, pressure from the boss, being late at work, payments, travel, etc etc. They won’t tell you but there are days when even they feel like resting or just giving up the daily routine life but they can’t. They can’t. Why? For their family. Not for themselves. For others. They hold on. They be patient and deal with it all, just so the people they love, get whatever they want. Respect their sacrifices too. They have this heaviness in their heart, they never share. They just run all their life, trying their best to be the man of the house and kill their aspirations, their dreams and wishes to fulfil the wishes of their loved ones. It isn’t easy for the men too.
Image via Pixabay
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For International Day of Elimination of Violence Against Women, let's look at how we 'accept' mothers who avenge violence against their kids, but not wives who fight back.
The silver screen is replete with depictions of male rage and men engaging in violence, but when women engage in violence, even when it is reactionary violence, it doesn’t sit right with us. We allow mothers (as portrayed in Sridevi’s Mom and Raveena Tandon’s Maatr) to avenge their daughters and resort to violence when all else fails, but when the abuser is an intimate partner, the rules appear to be different.
Depictions of female rage on screen garner mixed reactions. We root for protagonists and films we agree with like Mom or Maatr, but there are also films like Darlings which drew flak for its depictions of reactionary violence.
This begs the question, which women on screen are allowed to fight back and why do we root for some of these characters while refusing to see where others come from?
This Generation To Generation Violence towards A Daughter-in-law Needs To Stop!
It is ironic how women in the same home do not think twice before harassing a woman who left her parents and family behind to live with her husband.
“My daughter needs a husband who listens to her. He should leave his family to stay with her after marriage. He should be well-off and not let her do chores.”
“I also need an obedient daughter-in-law, who will be an unpaid servant and a punching bag who shouldn’t have a life of her own.”
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