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Every man who wakes up early in the morning to earn a living for his family is under pressure - no matter what work they do or on what position they are.
Right from an early age the men are made to believe that they have to take up all the responsibilities of their family be it financial or emotional. So they have to work hard and choose a profession through which they can support their family and provide them with a better life.
But did anyone ever ask them what they want to do? What are their life goals are apart from giving a better life to their family? What they really wanted to do in life?
They have been fed with the idea of, ‘being the man of the house’ from an early age itself. In a large part of the patriarchal world and most part of the western world too – man is always seen as the provider and protector. Way before the satellites broadcasted the feministic ideas to us, man was always considered as the one who pays the full bill. Period. This transcends all cultures, races, religions of the world.
And since then, imagine the pressure and grind they go through just because they have to give a better life to their family. Whether it is taking a 9 to 9 job, or cleaning roads, or being a conductor or being the owner of the company. Every man who wakes up early in the morning to earn a living for his family is under pressure – no matter what work they do or on what position they are.
There are men who leave at 5 in the morning , catch a train with a heavy bag on their back and duties on their head, grinding every single day to give a happy and content life to their family. Why isn’t anybody talking about the struggle these men go through every day? They leave early in the morning, come home late and then also have to deal with all the other issues in the family. There are men who stay away from their family for a whole year, to again, ‘earn a better living for the family’. Unfortunately, you will seldom see these men doing things for themselves.
They won’t go around spending money for themselves. No. It’s always for their loved ones and to give them all the comfort they want. Men sacrifice too. They have their own battles to fight every day. Pending work, meetings, pressure from the boss, being late at work, payments, travel, etc etc. They won’t tell you but there are days when even they feel like resting or just giving up the daily routine life but they can’t. They can’t. Why? For their family. Not for themselves. For others. They hold on. They be patient and deal with it all, just so the people they love, get whatever they want. Respect their sacrifices too. They have this heaviness in their heart, they never share. They just run all their life, trying their best to be the man of the house and kill their aspirations, their dreams and wishes to fulfil the wishes of their loved ones. It isn’t easy for the men too.
Image via Pixabay
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People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
14 years after her last feature film Dhobi Ghat, storyteller extraordinaire comes up with her new film, Laapataa Ladies, a must watch.
*Some spoilers alert*
Every religion around the world dictates terms to women. The onus is always on women to be ‘modest’ and cover their faces and bodies so men can’t be “tempted”, rather than on men to keep their eyes where they belong and behave like civilized beings. So much so that even rape has been excused on the grounds of women eating chowmein or ‘men will be men’. I think the best Hindi movie retort to this unwanted advice on ‘akeli ladki khuli tijori ki tarah hoti hai’ (an alone woman is like an open jewellery box) came from Geet in Jab We Met – Kya aap gyan dene ke paise lete hain kyonki chillar nahin hain mere paas.
The premise of Laapataa Ladies is beautifully simple – two brides clad in the ghunghat that covers their identity get mixed up on a train. Within this Russian Doll, you get a comedy of errors, a story of getting lost, a commentary on patriarchy’s attitude towards women, a mystery, and a tale of finding oneself, all in one. Done with a mostly light touch that has you laughing and nodding along.
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