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Women are expected to sublimate their opinions and needs in a patriarchal society like ours, but we need to speak up more for ourselves, indulge more in I, Me, Myself!
Women are expected to sublimate their opinions and needs in a patriarchal society like ours, but we need to speak up more for ourselves, indulge more in I, Me, and Myself!
Sometimes it’s not about dealing with the world around. Sometimes it’s also not a matter of how someone would probably think or react – we are much more clear about the social stigmas now, and we already give no damn about it.
Sometimes it’s totally about us. About the layers of conditioning we have allowed subconsciously to surround us. Sometimes it’s about removing those layers. Peeling them off to understand ourselves better and better.
I am 34 and god knows when it became my default system to succumb to the choices of others. I make just no choice for myself on a daily basis. Be it about food in some restaurant, or some place to visit, or any other day to day life choices. I give the chance to everyone but myself. I have become the background. I am okay being in the wings. I am okay being not onstage. Kids must learn to make a choice, and eventually own their decisions and mistakes. Others should have their chances too.
But while I was taking care of everyone else’s psychological well being and personality development in the house, I forgot myself somewhere. We all do that right?! Till the time one day we realize where we are? Or when you are suddenly asked for your choice and you think of it – as if you have forgotten what you actually liked, or making a choice becomes the most difficult thing for you to do, or when you just want to make a choice but no one bothers to ask you for yours.
In this constant process of neglecting yourself, overlooking your own needs, ignoring your own desires, you lose some of your own self. You fail your own self. We do it all the time, and we have seen every woman doing the same, and glorified for this. We do it because this is how we become acceptable in society.
Society doesn’t appreciate women who like themselves. Society loves the women who forget themselves for the lives around them, and their families. I can sense in my own life that I am accepted by those around till the time I don’t want to be me. The moment I become a little concerned about how I think and what I think, the climate around me changes drastically, temperatures go up and down, strong winds and storms become probable. And I immediately give up as when I hear raised voices & see raised eyebrows.
But that’s exactly when I rethink and come back to I, me and myself…. and the story begins. I am gonna try harder next time to put my view across more firmly. I will try harder and harder and harder till I get through. My choice is important and so am I.
Image source: pixabay
a writer, a woman, a human, a phoenix....... read more...
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Rajshri Deshpande, who played the fiery protagonist in Trial by Fire along with Abhay Deol speaks of her journey and her social work.
Rajshri Deshpande as the protagonist in ‘Trial by Fire’, the recent Netflix show has received raving reviews along with the show itself for its sensitive portrayal of the Uphaar Cinema Hall fire tragedy, 1997 and its aftermath.
The limited series is based on the book by the same name written by Neelam and Shekhar Krishnamoorthy, who lost both their children in the tragedy. We got an opportunity to interview Rajshri Deshpande who played Neelam Krishnamoorthy, the woman who has been relentlessly crusading in the court for holding the owners responsible for the sheer negligence.
Rajshri Deshpande is more than an actor. She is also a social warrior, the rare celebrity from the film industry who has also gone back to her roots to give to poverty struck farming villages in her native Marathwada, with her NGO Nabhangan Foundation. Of course a chance to speak with her one on one was a must!
“What is a woman’s job, Ramesh? Taking care of parents-in-law, husband, children, home and things at work—all at the same time? She isn’t God or a superhuman."
The arrays of workstations were occupied by people peering into their computer screens. The clicks of keyboard keys were punctuated by the occasional footsteps moving around to brainstorm or collaborate with colleagues in their cubicles. Most employees went about their tasks without looking at the person seated on either side of their workstation. Meenakshi was one of them.
The thirty-one-year-old marketing manager in a leading eCommerce company in India sat straight in her seat, her eyes on the screen, her fingers punching furiously into the keys. She was in a flow and wanted to finish the report while the thoughts and words were coming effortlessly into her mind.
Natu-Natu. The mellifluous ringtone interrupted her thoughts. She frowned at her mobile phone with half a mind to keep it ringing until she noticed the caller’s name on the screen, making her pick up the phone immediately.
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