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Women are expected to sublimate their opinions and needs in a patriarchal society like ours, but we need to speak up more for ourselves, indulge more in I, Me, and Myself!
Sometimes it’s not about dealing with the world around. Sometimes it’s also not a matter of how someone would probably think or react – we are much more clear about the social stigmas now, and we already give no damn about it.
Sometimes it’s totally about us. About the layers of conditioning we have allowed subconsciously to surround us. Sometimes it’s about removing those layers. Peeling them off to understand ourselves better and better.
I am 34 and god knows when it became my default system to succumb to the choices of others. I make just no choice for myself on a daily basis. Be it about food in some restaurant, or some place to visit, or any other day to day life choices. I give the chance to everyone but myself. I have become the background. I am okay being in the wings. I am okay being not onstage. Kids must learn to make a choice, and eventually own their decisions and mistakes. Others should have their chances too.
But while I was taking care of everyone else’s psychological well being and personality development in the house, I forgot myself somewhere. We all do that right?! Till the time one day we realize where we are? Or when you are suddenly asked for your choice and you think of it – as if you have forgotten what you actually liked, or making a choice becomes the most difficult thing for you to do, or when you just want to make a choice but no one bothers to ask you for yours.
In this constant process of neglecting yourself, overlooking your own needs, ignoring your own desires, you lose some of your own self. You fail your own self. We do it all the time, and we have seen every woman doing the same, and glorified for this. We do it because this is how we become acceptable in society.
Society doesn’t appreciate women who like themselves. Society loves the women who forget themselves for the lives around them, and their families. I can sense in my own life that I am accepted by those around till the time I don’t want to be me. The moment I become a little concerned about how I think and what I think, the climate around me changes drastically, temperatures go up and down, strong winds and storms become probable. And I immediately give up as when I hear raised voices & see raised eyebrows.
But that’s exactly when I rethink and come back to I, me and myself…. and the story begins. I am gonna try harder next time to put my view across more firmly. I will try harder and harder and harder till I get through. My choice is important and so am I.
Image source: pixabay
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a writer, a woman, a human, a phoenix.......
Good one. You have clearly expressed what many women are experiencing. Thanks
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