Check out 16 Return-To-Work Programs In India For Ambitious Women Like You!
Are you ready for a child? This is a question only you and your partner can decide the answer to, and not your family, extended family, or others.
For a financially independent working woman who married by her choice and lives life on her own terms this can be a really complicated question. Being one amongst them I too thought that mental preparedness, love and health will be enough to bring a child into this world. But as they say each one learns from his own mistakes. I, with all my preparation and reading up on parenting, also stumbled on not one but many accounts.
To begin with, whole-hearted trust and acceptance must prevail. Obviously why is she even saying that; isn’t that a given between a couple deciding to become parents? Aaha, that’s the obvious. But the not so obvious but must thing is to have the same equation with both set of parents too. Because if all other things are in place, they might be one of the pillars who move in with you and actively support you in bringing up the child.
I for one always had my share of fears and distrust with my in-laws and had never co-habituated with them. So when my son was born, in the midst of all the joy and ‘shouting-out-from-top-of-the-roof-that-I-have-a-grandson’ my in-laws announced that they would take total care of the child once I returned to work. But things weren’t as rosy as the proclamation was. It took a lot of compromise, adjustments and arguments even after which my son isn’t being brought up the way I want to.
Which brings me to the next thing, finances. Finances not just to bear and rear a child but also finances enough to help you take that break from your career if you wish to. Either the spouse bears it all or your own savings can be dipped into so that you can take a 2-3 year hiatus and bring up the kid in the way you always wanted to.
And for that, won’t it be nice if you had a hobby turned passion (read NOT your JOB) which can be pursued full time in-case you wish to be a hands-on mom who works out of the comfort of one’s home. This might not be a replacement for your job monetarily but at least creatively. This way one could still be engaged and productive without being away from home for long hours.
Trust me ladies, this actually gives the confidence in taking a break from your all-absorbing career and trying your hand at an alternate career. It’s like being empowered and not a slave of circumstances when you choose to stay at home instead of chasing usual career goals.
Lastly comes the unsaid and most taken for granted skills in India like driving, taking care of house without any help etc. (mind you these skills are a given in the western world).
The baby will bring with it loads of changes within you, from patience to perseverance, from sensitivity to positivity; don’t be surprised but becoming a parent can bring those changes in you which you struggled to bring about all lifelong. But the rest can become a big blessing to have; it is like being in that sweet spot of your career when hirers approach you and not vice versa!
Image source: By Mark Colomb (Flickr) [CC BY 2.0], via Wikimedia Commons, for representational purposes only.
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UP Boards Topper Prachi Nigam was trolled on social media for her facial hair; our obsession with appearance is harsh on young minds.
Prachi Nigam’s photo has been doing the rounds on social media for the right reasons. Well, scratch that- I wish the above statement were true. This 15-year-old girl should ideally be revelling in her spectacular achievement of scoring a whopping 98.05% and topping her tenth-grade boards. But oddly enough, along with her marks, it’s something else that garners more attention – her facial hair.
While the trolls are driving themselves giddy by mocking this girl who hasn’t even completed her school yet, the ones who are taking her side are going one step ahead – they are sharing her photoshopped pictures, sans the facial hair, looking nothing less than a celebrity with captions saying – “Prachi Nigam, ten years later”.
Doctors have already diagnosed her with PCOD in their comments, based on photographic evidence. While we have names for people shamed for their weight – body shaming, for their skin colour- racism, for their age- age shaming, for being a female- sexism, this category of shaming where one faces criticism for their appearance has no name. With that, it also has zero shame attached to it.
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