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As new parents, how can you as a couple still manage to keep the spark alive and strengthen your relationship?
Are you wondering when your marital bliss turned from 2 for joy to 3 for trouble?
Are all your endeavors no more ‘together’ but ‘three-gather’ instead?
Do you find yourself pondering if the bundle of joy was to add to all the happiness and love but instead find the love and attention divided?
As a working professional I hardly get a couple of hours back home so how on Earth can you balance ‘me-time’, ‘we time’ as well as ‘couple time’?! Read further to find doable hacks to bring your love life back on track.
Steal time from your schedule: Remember how every free minute would be used to call your fiancé for sweet nothings. Try to be the same happy anxious you in connecting to your married partner. The 8-9 hours you do not spend in physical proximity of your spouse as well as kid is in turn opportunity to focus on your per-marital days and act like a giggling teenager yourself!
Free talk: Just like your child needs some free time that is unstructured, keep aside a few minutes for freewheeling chats between the two of you. Make sure no daily decisions crop into this chit chat, it should be totally abstract maybe about your hopes and dreams. This could be just before you start the daily hustle or a small postprandial walk before hitting the bed. Picture yourself in the arms of your spouse and talking of the life ahead!
Give each other compliments: Clearly this does not need a time on your calendar. Share a selfie to seek feedback on your OOTD. Find a pic of your courtship period and use the filters of your choice on it. Or just send GIFs to flirt with your spouse. These small gestures are what go a long way and they do not burn a hole in your pocket. Cheap thrills I would say!
Learn to express non-sexual love: This is the most underrated and often misunderstood love language. While most Venusians can relate to it, almost all Martians are alien to this form of expression. Holding hands, fondling hair, kissing on the forehead, plain hugging and air kissing are all also ways to show your love. Just like infants respond to such expressions from their caretakers, your partner too might find this as a setting ground for more intimacy later during the day.
Couple fitness goals: Why not utilize the mornings to run or work out together! While individual preferences may vary, find a common activity that you both can manage to do together. This could be brisk walks in the neighborhood park or a salsa class you find interesting. From every day to once a week, once the habit sets in both of you would look forward to it like anxious love-birds!
Catch series/short clips together: Going to the movies is passe. So is watching an entire movie or binge watching your fav series. But we clearly live in a world full of interesting content, there is one for every pair of eyeballs. So grab short videos or mini-series which catch both of your’s interest and spend quality time getting entertained!
How did you turn your dull sexless life around? What practical hacks helped you bring your love life back on track? Share with me in comments below and help more new mothers find practical solutions to the often neglected and least spoken about post-partum problem.
Image source: shutterstock
New mom. Corporate Czarina. Born to read. read more...
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People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
14 years after her last feature film Dhobi Ghat, storyteller extraordinaire comes up with her new film, Laapataa Ladies, a must watch.
*Some spoilers alert*
Every religion around the world dictates terms to women. The onus is always on women to be ‘modest’ and cover their faces and bodies so men can’t be “tempted”, rather than on men to keep their eyes where they belong and behave like civilized beings. So much so that even rape has been excused on the grounds of women eating chowmein or ‘men will be men’. I think the best Hindi movie retort to this unwanted advice on ‘akeli ladki khuli tijori ki tarah hoti hai’ (an alone woman is like an open jewellery box) came from Geet in Jab We Met – Kya aap gyan dene ke paise lete hain kyonki chillar nahin hain mere paas.
The premise of Laapataa Ladies is beautifully simple – two brides clad in the ghunghat that covers their identity get mixed up on a train. Within this Russian Doll, you get a comedy of errors, a story of getting lost, a commentary on patriarchy’s attitude towards women, a mystery, and a tale of finding oneself, all in one. Done with a mostly light touch that has you laughing and nodding along.
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