Why No Dad Shaming, When Everyone And Their Aunt Loves Mom Shaming?

Mom and dad are both responsible for a child. When women are mom shamed for any choice they might make, why no dad shaming? Unfair!

Mom and dad are both responsible for a child. When women are mom shamed for any choice they might make, why no dad shaming? Unfair!

I love John Legend and his songs. Last year, wifey Chrissy Teigen got trolled online for going out for dinner with him shortly after giving birth to baby Luna, leaving the child alone at home of course with a babysitter. John Legend, the man of substance, raised a right question – that why he wasn’t he subjected to dad shaming for not staying at home for the baby and for taking Chrissy out for dinner, as he is an equal contributor in the parenting process. Bravo John!

Well, especially in India, when it comes to parenting and childcare, mothers are certainly overburdened. And if by any chance a mother opts to continue her career, she is subjected to a lot of criticism that she has to deal with all her life. The guilt of leaving the baby at home or the daycare gets fuelled by such condemnations.

But I think we ladies are strong. Since societies around the globe have always been harsh on us, we have developed some mental adaptations against these fault-finding habits of the society. But unfortunately, dads always have an escape route from such criticisms. Unfair isn’t it? Even the latest amendment on maternity benefit didn’t talk much about the father’s contribution as a caregiver.

As an outcome of performing three exhaustive duties (role of a homemaker, a mother and a professional) simultaneously, we women hamper our health, or we settle for a less challenging job, or take a break from our current job to pursue our role of a mother. Self-pampering is out of question; if you see a woman with bushy eyebrow, dry skin, chapped lips, and messy hair, it’s a sure bet that she is a mommy. And if you could not exhaust yourself as per the society’s standards for an ‘Ideal Mother’ then be ready to be tagged as a bad mother.

When the women are at par with their male counterparts at work in terms of calibre, it is painful to accept and settle for anything less regarding their work profile.

With a growing kid the responsibility and difficulty of managing home and office increases, and so is the evaluation by the family and relatives of your parenting report card. It is not easy to make a balance between home and office, and with the kid, the challenges shoot up by ten times. And definitely, a husband is the only person we can count on. Kudos to those men who are sensible and mature enough to understand their responsibilities both as a husband and as a father!

When we (husband and wife) as parents have an equal role in seeding a beautiful life in the womb, then why it is that the mother always has to walk alone on this tightrope test of the society on nurturing lessons?

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Why is the father’s role is confined to that of a breadwinner, especially when the mother is contributing equally in bringing the finances up for the family, sometimes actively by working like how a man does and sometimes passively by saving the husband’s salary and by spending the money judiciously?

Why a dad never criticised for not taking care of the baby? Why no dad shaming?

Image source: shutterstock

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About the Author

Swati Bhatgain

A mother of a toddler. An accidental blogger, I have explored a writer in me of late. And I am glad there are platforms available on the internet that promotes and care about what an read more...

7 Posts | 26,745 Views

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