A story of love, loss and second chances by Nikita Singh, releasing this Valentine’s Day.
Are you taking care of the calcium needs of your child ?
A stay at home mom does nothing much and has an easy life, right? Wrong! Better look up these things you must never say to a stay at home mom.
She was a superwoman with a cape, but now she dons an apron. She is still a superwoman though. Yes, I am talking about the woman who puts her career on hold to take care of her kids, who quits her job to raise a family. She is the Stay At Home Mom or SAHM.
For a few of us, she is just a housewife, or just a mom. We live in a world where many choices made by others, especially women, are often judged and not taken kindly. Passing snide remarks and making each other feel inadequate seems the order of the day.
But, be careful what you say. Utter a wrong sentence, make an uncomfortable inquiry and be ready to face her wrath. Here are 10 things you should never say to a Stay At Home Mother. And yes, these intelligent women get that underlying snide message hidden within that innocent query. Of course, they also know when your query is well-intentioned. So utter these words at your own peril. (And please don’t miss the prickly rejoinders.)
They are the grandparents, not nannies. My parents and in-laws are hale and hearty, but they are old. They themselves need care and proper rest. They did a great job raising their own kids, but that doesn’t mean that they should be burdened with raising their kids’ kids as well.
Of course, I’ll need their constant support and guidance, but I cannot even think of a scenario where they are caring for my young, super-active kids for eight to ten hours at a stretch, every day.
On the contrary, I am putting my education and degrees to practical use. You want an example? See, how patiently I am listening to your thoughtless words instead of showing you the door! I have developed the art of patience and tact to deal with not just my little ones, but also adults like you who judge my lifestyle choices.
Contribution is not always monetary. I am contributing to my family in a major way being a homemaker and a stay-at-home mother.
And maybe we had been saving all along, maybe we have cut down our expenses, but how does that matter to anyone? My family’s financial situation is none of anyone else’s business. That is between my spouse and me. Right?
Yes, I can do that but choose not to. You send your kids to daycare and that’s what you think is best for them. I respect your choice, and I expect you to respect mine. We both know what’s good for our kids, and what’s best for us. Three cheers for choices we make to live our lives fully and fruitfully.
But who told you marriage is an insurance policy or my husband is my money-minting machine? And you know, anything can happen with me, you, or anyone, any time. Regardless of that, we have to make choices and live with the consequences.
I am sure my children will be as proud of me as I am of them. And you know, respect has to be earned.
Maybe I’ll never start again! Well, startled? Don’t you think I must have thought about it or sought guidance or advice before trading my briefcase for the diaper bag? Well, if you insist, what I am achieving right now is more valuable than what you think I have lost.
(The classic question every SAHM must have encountered once in her lifetime)
Oh, don’t even get me started. I bungee jump, scuba dive, paraglide, watch television, read and do a lot of other interesting things while there’s a fairy who prepares breakfast for my family, packs my kids off to school and hubby to office, prepares meals, goes grocery shopping, manages finances, cares for old and young, and does everything else. Would you like to meet her?
Well, sometimes I don’t get time even for combing my hair, but if this assumption makes you happy (or jealous), so be it. By the way, I really envy you for the lunch break you get and the smoking breaks you take.
I am planning to be a candidate in the next elections and enhance the miseries of people with my stupid decisions. Better still, I am planning to be a scribe and project mikes on the faces of the people already in misery. Well, the most meaningful thing I can think of doing at this moment is to hang up because I know I am wasting my time carrying out this conversation with you. Bye!
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Published here earlier.
Image source: shutterstock
Journalist, photographer, blogger who loves to chronicle everything from mundane to magnificent.
Thought provoking words and true to the core. Hats off to you.
well said,a thumbs up for SAHMS
Such a fantastic read!! well done!!
Very well written!! Both working moms and stay at home moms make sacrifices and utilise/improve certain specialised skills and capabilities in the fulfilment of their roles in or outside the home. All mothers make compromises on their conveniences and their most preferred choices in living life to the fullest. But, sensible women and good mothers will be wise and introspect to bring balance for themselves and their families- giving and receiving the love and emotional support that makes themselves and their family happy.
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