Confessions of a Stay At Home Mom (SAHM)

Posted: September 11, 2015

A stay at home mom (SAHM) writes about her life, its changes and her choices. 

I thrived in the corporate atmosphere, thoroughly enjoyed it for eight years and then, there came a time when I felt that there was another role that needed my attention. That there are two tiny people in the world who need me much more than the 3,00,000+ employee strong organization I worked for. I felt the need to seize the moment, to fully enjoy myself with the two people to whom I mattered the most. Having said that, it was difficult to let go of my career, to lose the person I became in office, to lose my financial independence.

People asked me if I had a plan, if I was planning to join somewhere else or start something on my own, but for the first time in my life I had nothing planned, no agenda, no objectives to meet, no deadlines to run after. It felt surprisingly good, absolutely refreshing. I won’t say it was all fun and laughter; I do have my moments of doubt. I do have my ‘good days’ and ‘bad days’ as a Stay-At-Home-Mom (S-A-H-M). On rare occasions, I do miss dressing up for work and clacking up the office steps in those glossy stilettos. There are times I miss being among like-minded colleagues and I definitely miss my own money but never, even in those moments, have I regretted the decision I have taken. There are never any regrets when one truly follows one’s heart!

I won’t say it was all fun and laughter; I do have my moments of doubt.

Over the months, I have discovered various simple joys of life, connected with old friends, met a lot of new people, learnt new and varied things, picked up on new hobbies and in the process, I made acquaintance with an all-new ‘me’. I chanced upon a whole new world of possibilities I never knew existed. It is like opening a fresh new notebook and having the choice to do whatever you wanted to – write, paint, sketch or make paper planes. The options are endless. Additionally, I don’t have to worry about performance appraisals, project deadlines, meetings, e-mails and calls. No more Monday Blues (every day is a Monday or a Sunday depending on how you look at it.)

As an S-A-H-M, the hardest thing I learnt to do (and I’m still trying) is to not have an agenda or a to-do list on my mind all the time. Throughout school, college and office we are trained to multi-task, project plan, keep everything organized, deliver as per timelines come what may and in the whole process we forget how to just simply relax. These days I am learning the art of doing nothing (dolce far niente) from my kids. It’s therapeutic!

A lot of times you may have read about how hard it is to be a full-time mother and that it is the toughest job in the world! It sure is a difficult, complex, ever-evolving, challenging role, sometimes harder than a corporate job, if we must compare it that way. But lately, I have also come to believe that it is not really a ‘job’. Rather, it is a privilege, a luxury. This is the only time when my kids are the most impressionable, the most delicate years of their life, when their mom means the world to them.

It is like opening a fresh new notebook and having the choice to do whatever you wanted to – write, paint, sketch or make paper planes.

These are the precious years when we have all the time in the world for each other and I know fairly well that these years are going to fly past sooner than I know. Nothing seems to give me more joy than making my kids laugh, colouring with them, pasting stickers on the wall, pretend-playing and reading children’s stories with them. Sometimes I feel like I am re-living my childhood all over again.

Now, can I really call that a job? When I am having so much fun and not getting paid for it?

To all the working moms, kudos to you! I am really amazed by moms who are managing it all – a career, a home and kids; and slightly jealous of the ones who have grandparents staying with them to provide full support!

This article was first published here.
Cover image via Shutterstock.

Daughter. Wife. Mother. Writer. Read more from me at http://mrsdutta.blogspot.com

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