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The story of Haritha shared on Humans of Amsterdam Facebook page is an inspiration for all those who feel that 'Leave' is not an option in a bad relationship.
Haritha’s story, shared on the Humans of Amsterdam Facebook page is an inspiration for all those who feel that ‘Leave’ is not an option in a bad relationship.
The story of Haritha, an Indian woman who now lives an independent life in Amsterdam after a harrowing marital experience, is a story that is not hard to find. Haritha can be you, me, a friend, neighbour, sister or even our daughters. There is a Haritha in every corner of India.
It doesn’t matter how educated our girls are, it doesn’t matter how well she is earning, it doesn’t matter whether she is the CEO of a multi-national company, – girls in the Indian society are expected to make compromises and adjustments throughout their lives. It is the societal norm. First for their parents, then their in-laws, then husband and then their children.
Haritha can be any other Indian woman who gets married for the wrong reasons, thanks to a sense of misplaced rationality fueled by the roots of patriarchy and overly anxious parents at the helm who choose to sacrifice the life and happiness of their daughter rather than letting go of their ‘family honour’.
‘Divorce’ is still a taboo subject in India, more-so for women. Parents force their daughters to stay in bad marriages because they feel that it will ruin their daughter’s life, – not to mention the disgrace it will bring to the ‘family honour’. Such is the state of women in a country that hails goddesses, calls them ‘Shakti’ and engages in revelry and celebrations for nine days during ‘Navratris’.
The story of Haritha touches a chord among all women who refuse to be identified with only a man’s name. Her story is a fight against the regressive laws of the land where a woman can only have the name of her father or husband on an official document; her story is a fight against all injustice meted out to our daughters in the name of culture, family name, tradition and laws.
Haritha’s story is filled with tumultuous twists and turns but the determination with which she fought all those adversities resonates with millions of women around the world. Her fight against hegemonic masculinity gives a lot of women the inspiration and courage they need and deserve, and it hits home hard for a lot of Indian women.
Image: Humans Of Amsterdam
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While marriage brings with it its own set of responsibilities for both partners, it is often the woman who needs to so all the adjustments.
For a 25-year-old women — who tied the knot in March-2014 — the love come arranged marriage brought with it a new city, and also the “responsibility of managing household chores“.
Prior to her marriage, she learned to cook after marriage as her husband “doesn’t cook”.
“I struggled and my husband used to tell me that it would turn out better the next time. Now, I am much a better cook,” said the mother to a three-and-a-half-month-old, who chose to work from home after marriage.
Jaane Jaan is a great standalone flick, but a lot of it could have been handled better, and from the POV of the main character.
Jaane Jaan is a thriller streaming on Netflix and is adapted from Keigo Higashino’s book, ‘The Devotion of Suspect X’. I found the film to be riveting, with a nail-biting build-up. However, in my personal opinion, the climax and the treatment of the female lead was a letdown.
Disclaimer: I haven’t read the book yet, and I am not sure how true the adaptation has stayed to the source material.
(SPOILERS AHEAD. Please read after you watch the movie if you are planning to)
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