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Let's redefine traditions! The Rakshabandhan version we have right now surely needs change, said our readers in our weekly Twitter Chat, #WomenOnTheMove.
Let’s redefine traditions! The Rakshabandhan version we have right now surely needs change, said our readers in our weekly Twitter Chat, #WomenOnTheMove.
Long ago, a fierce battle raged between the gods and demons. The gods were on the verge of losing the battle. It was then that Indrani, wife of god Indra (the King of gods) tied a bracelet on the wrist of her husband to protect him from all evils. The story goes that the next day Indra won the battle.
Coming down to earth, sometime in the 16th century the sultan of Gujarat -Bahadur Shah, attacked Chittor, the capital of Mewar. The queen Karnavati of Mewar sent a bejewelled Rakhi to Mughal King Humayun seeking his help. Though it is said that Humayun accepted this tender gesture of the queen, he could not save her.
Raksha Bandhan signifies this. The book Hanklyn-Janklin by Nigel B. Hankin defines Raksha Bandhan as a custom from Rajput times where a sister ties this thread for protection – protection not only for herself but also for her brother from all misfortunes.
Over the years, the latter interpretation has got lost. The festival today just signifies the bond between the brother and sister and with the added message that the sister ties this thread for her protection.
Earlier this week, we had our weekly #Womenonthemove chat over at Twitter, and this is what we discussed. And we realized what this festival signifies to the modern women of today. (If you’re not yet following Women’s Web on Twitter, do now, and you can come over for the chat too, every Thursday 6-7PM IST).
@womensweb A1. Not really. Celebrated in the spirit of family time. Protection ke liye hum khud hi kaafi hai. 😂 1/2 — Aditi Mahale (@aditi_mahale) August 18, 2016Never miss real stories from India's women.Register Now
@womensweb A1. Not really. Celebrated in the spirit of family time. Protection ke liye hum khud hi kaafi hai. 😂 1/2
— Aditi Mahale (@aditi_mahale) August 18, 2016
@womensweb A1. Safety is in our hands bt its gud to know my bro is there too. Its more of a family bonding time. — Sweety Pateliya (@chinks_lounge) August 18, 2016
@womensweb A1. Safety is in our hands bt its gud to know my bro is there too. Its more of a family bonding time.
— Sweety Pateliya (@chinks_lounge) August 18, 2016
#Womenonthemove @womensweb A1. More relevant possibly in the past than in present times. There would have been a societal reason for it 2/2 — Aditi Mahale (@aditi_mahale) August 18, 2016
#Womenonthemove @womensweb A1. More relevant possibly in the past than in present times. There would have been a societal reason for it 2/2
@womensweb A1 No. For us it was always celebrating the bond & being there for each other. Patriarchal angle was never there #womenonthemove — Archana (TSW) (@BeingAHappyGirl) August 18, 2016
@womensweb A1 No. For us it was always celebrating the bond & being there for each other. Patriarchal angle was never there #womenonthemove
— Archana (TSW) (@BeingAHappyGirl) August 18, 2016
@womensweb a1. Honestly, as a child, never. Also the protection bit wasn’t emphasised – more a fun thing #womenonthemove — Aparna V Singh (@editorsahiba) August 18, 2016
@womensweb a1. Honestly, as a child, never. Also the protection bit wasn’t emphasised – more a fun thing #womenonthemove
— Aparna V Singh (@editorsahiba) August 18, 2016
@womensweb#Womenonthemove agree. But may have been a requisite of those times. Some traditions simply get continued despite changing times — Aditi Mahale (@aditi_mahale) August 18, 2016
@womensweb#Womenonthemove agree. But may have been a requisite of those times. Some traditions simply get continued despite changing times
@womensweb celebrating a festival that glorifies one gender reinforces patriarchy. — Pooja Sharma Rao (@IAmSufiZen) August 18, 2016
@womensweb celebrating a festival that glorifies one gender reinforces patriarchy.
— Pooja Sharma Rao (@IAmSufiZen) August 18, 2016
@womensweb #Womenonthemove also now marketers milk it for what its worth. Everyone out to create ‘relevant Indian days’ — Aditi Mahale (@aditi_mahale) August 18, 2016
@womensweb #Womenonthemove also now marketers milk it for what its worth. Everyone out to create ‘relevant Indian days’
@womensweb absolutely my little one saw a n/p story about gold/diamond rakhis and was asking how does the price of the thread matter mamma? — Pooja Sharma Rao (@IAmSufiZen) August 18, 2016
@womensweb absolutely my little one saw a n/p story about gold/diamond rakhis and was asking how does the price of the thread matter mamma?
@womensweb Definitely. This festival is nt practised traditionally in the south, bt nowadays u get rakhi themed offers on everything. — Supriya Unni Nair (@SupriyaUnniNair) August 18, 2016
@womensweb Definitely. This festival is nt practised traditionally in the south, bt nowadays u get rakhi themed offers on everything.
— Supriya Unni Nair (@SupriyaUnniNair) August 18, 2016
@womensweb its more commercialised but still its gendered core doesn’t change,in another forum I was told sisters like being protected 😈 — Pooja Sharma Rao (@IAmSufiZen) August 18, 2016
@womensweb its more commercialised but still its gendered core doesn’t change,in another forum I was told sisters like being protected 😈
@womensweb Yes! I know many women who plan on ‘shopping’ with the money they would get as gifts! — Sandhya R (@sandhyarl) August 18, 2016
@womensweb Yes! I know many women who plan on ‘shopping’ with the money they would get as gifts!
— Sandhya R (@sandhyarl) August 18, 2016
@womensweb absolutely Time for talking about real,issues- equal property rights,right to,perform parents’ last rites etc. — Pooja Sharma Rao (@IAmSufiZen) August 18, 2016
@womensweb absolutely Time for talking about real,issues- equal property rights,right to,perform parents’ last rites etc.
@womensweb Certainly! Traditions should have a shelf life, and this is approaching the end of it! — Sandhya R (@sandhyarl) August 18, 2016
@womensweb Certainly! Traditions should have a shelf life, and this is approaching the end of it!
@womensweb Its time to look beyond the ‘brother protecting sister’ symbolism of #Rakhi and stressing more on ‘healthy bond of relationship’. — Vaishali Gandhi (@vaishali178) August 18, 2016
@womensweb Its time to look beyond the ‘brother protecting sister’ symbolism of #Rakhi and stressing more on ‘healthy bond of relationship’.
— Vaishali Gandhi (@vaishali178) August 18, 2016
@womensweb Also, like other things, there should be individual choice in this. Not a forced family affair! — Sandhya R (@sandhyarl) August 18, 2016
@womensweb Also, like other things, there should be individual choice in this. Not a forced family affair!
@womensweb I tied rakhi to my 11 month old baby:D — Sweety Pateliya (@chinks_lounge) August 18, 2016
@womensweb I tied rakhi to my 11 month old baby:D
@womensweb my parents tied me a thread of love and so did I,now do the same with my only girl child,its not about gender,its about family. — Pooja Sharma Rao (@IAmSufiZen) August 18, 2016
@womensweb my parents tied me a thread of love and so did I,now do the same with my only girl child,its not about gender,its about family.
@womensweb #Womenonthemove A2. Cousins. I have them aplenty. Most of mine were postal rakhi recipients. Now e-rakhis. 😂 Sentiment counts — Aditi Mahale (@aditi_mahale) August 18, 2016
@womensweb #Womenonthemove A2. Cousins. I have them aplenty. Most of mine were postal rakhi recipients. Now e-rakhis. 😂 Sentiment counts
@womensweb I am a single child…but I have lots of cousins and my uncles do not have a sister so I am used to tie a rakhi to them too…1/2 — Furiosa (@Disha_SH_) August 18, 2016
@womensweb I am a single child…but I have lots of cousins and my uncles do not have a sister so I am used to tie a rakhi to them too…1/2
— Furiosa (@Disha_SH_) August 18, 2016
@womensweb Girls need to be taught self-empowerment and self-defence, to reiterate that they can take care of themselves. #Womenonthemove — Vaishali Gandhi (@vaishali178) August 18, 2016
@womensweb Girls need to be taught self-empowerment and self-defence, to reiterate that they can take care of themselves. #Womenonthemove
Image: A decorated Rakhi tray from Wikipedia Commons
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Just because they are married a husband isn’t entitled to be violent to his wife. Just because a man is "in love" with a woman, it doesn't give him a right to be violent.
Trigger Warning: This speaks of graphic details of violence against women and may be triggering for survivors.
Anger is a basic human emotion, just like happiness or being sad. One chooses his/her way of expressing that emotion. It is safe until that action stays within oneself.
What happens when that feeling is forced upon another? The former becomes the perpetrator, and the latter turns out to be the victim.
Yuvaraj Shele, a small-time worker from Kolhapur, Maharashtra, did battle many odds and arranged for his mother Ratna’s wedding a few weeks ago. The main point that he put forth was that he felt his mother was lonely and saw the need for her to live happily.
A myth that goes without saying is that only a woman can understand another woman better. What happens when a man does understand what a woman goes through? Especially when the woman is his mother, that too when she is a widow?
This scene does remind of a few movies/web series where the daughter/son do realize their mother’s emotions and towards the end, they approve of their new relationship.
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