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A married Indian woman is supposed to do all the adjustments for the sake of the marriage. What about the husband? Shouldn’t he hold up his part of the deal?
The life of a woman turns a complete 360 degrees once she gets married. Adjusting to the new lifestyle, new customs and traditions, etc. is only considered a requirement for the girl, now the wife. Leaving her family behind, all her things behind, everything familiar behind, and is expected to move forward in her life with the memories of her past.
So, I think husbands of Indian origin need these pointers, and I am going to address them to my husband. All husbands, consider yourself told.
I left my house to live with your family. Now, once in a while when a good opportunity comes our way where we need to relocate you do all drama about how your mom dad are alone, etc. You can also leave them, and we can stay independently. I am not saying that you should not take care of them at all, but when we have opportunities knocking we have to balance both.
I am staying with your family forever. Why do you hesitate to come for a stay for one or two days at my parents’ place? Forget about one or two days, even when they invite you to lunch or dinner you tend to hesitate.
Whenever you come to my parents’ house you will be treated as a KING with lot of respect and my parents shower you with lots of love. But what about me? In my case I don’t get such treatment at your house? Leave the dream to be a QUEEN, at least give us some respect and credit to what ever we do.
My parents have to talk to you very politely as you are their Son-in-law but when it comes to me, I just have to bear all the nonsense which your parents say to me and ignore it for peace.
Your sisters can come and stay in our house for weeks, but if I ask if can I go to my parents’ place, you start questioning and try to stop me most of the time from going there.
You can have fun with your friends and come back anytime, but when if I ask permission for one day to go out with my friends after doing all work, you say who is going to take care of the child?
This list will be never ending if I put down all the inequities. We are not complaining about anything, we just want everything equal. Compromise and adjustment should be there on both the sides. We even want respect in the family, which, I think, is our right.
So when are you going to change? Hopefully you’ll see sense soon.
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Why ask permission. Just do what you want.
If you are smart and amazing enough to write with such clarity, you can surely do this?
They will change the day you stop asking for permission, and stop doing “all” the work without any complaints…
correction mothers of indian origin need to be educated, to teach their daughters that giving is not sacrificing, but equal contribution.and teaching the sons to contribute with equally..
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