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A married Indian woman is supposed to do all the adjustments for the sake of the marriage. What about the husband? Shouldn't he hold up his part of the deal?
A married Indian woman is supposed to do all the adjustments for the sake of the marriage. What about the husband? Shouldn’t he hold up his part of the deal?
The life of a woman turns a complete 360 degrees once she gets married. Adjusting to the new lifestyle, new customs and traditions, etc. is only considered a requirement for the girl, now the wife. Leaving her family behind, all her things behind, everything familiar behind, and is expected to move forward in her life with the memories of her past.
So, I think husbands of Indian origin need these pointers, and I am going to address them to my husband. All husbands, consider yourself told.
I left my house to live with your family. Now, once in a while when a good opportunity comes our way where we need to relocate you do all drama about how your mom dad are alone, etc. You can also leave them, and we can stay independently. I am not saying that you should not take care of them at all, but when we have opportunities knocking we have to balance both.
I am staying with your family forever. Why do you hesitate to come for a stay for one or two days at my parents’ place? Forget about one or two days, even when they invite you to lunch or dinner you tend to hesitate.
Whenever you come to my parents’ house you will be treated as a KING with lot of respect and my parents shower you with lots of love. But what about me? In my case I don’t get such treatment at your house? Leave the dream to be a QUEEN, at least give us some respect and credit to what ever we do.
My parents have to talk to you very politely as you are their Son-in-law but when it comes to me, I just have to bear all the nonsense which your parents say to me and ignore it for peace.
Your sisters can come and stay in our house for weeks, but if I ask if can I go to my parents’ place, you start questioning and try to stop me most of the time from going there.
You can have fun with your friends and come back anytime, but when if I ask permission for one day to go out with my friends after doing all work, you say who is going to take care of the child?
This list will be never ending if I put down all the inequities. We are not complaining about anything, we just want everything equal. Compromise and adjustment should be there on both the sides. We even want respect in the family, which, I think, is our right.
So when are you going to change? Hopefully you’ll see sense soon.
Image source: Shutterstock.
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Chetan Bhagat had no business slut shaming Uorfi Javed or any other woman. If he wants to 'guide' young men in the 'right direction' then he should take accountability for his words.
Chetan Bhagat, one of India’s bestselling authors, thought it was an ingenious idea to slut-shame Uorfi Javed, an Indian actress and influencer, at the Sahitya Aaj Tak literature festival.
“Phone has been a great distraction for the youth, especially the boys, spending hours just watching Instagram Reels. Everyone knows who Uorfi Javed is. What will you do with her photos? Is it coming in your exams or you will go for a job interview and tell the interviewer that you know all her outfits? On one side, there is a youth who is protecting our nation at Kargil and on another side, we have another youth who is seeing Uorfi Javed’s photos hiding in their blankets.”
Uorfi Javed responded with a video on her Instagram stories calling out Bhagat’s bluff. She shared the screenshots of his previous chat conversations with Ira Trivedi, author and yoga instructor, which came to light during the #MeToo movement.
While boys are taught to naturally own the space they enter, girls are taught to give up, to accommodate, to adjust since "it is their primary responsibility to keep families and relations together."
Yesterday, I was watching these 4 young girls around 16 – 17 years old play badminton. They were having fun, goofing around with all 4 of them equally involved in the game.
In some time two of their male friends joined them, and as part of round robin, the 2 boys replaced two of the girls. All good.
As the play continued, I started noticing a change in the way the game was being played. The shuttle was played most of the times between the two boys and there was a sense of competition and aggression brought in. The other 2 girls playing soon starting losing interest in the game as they hardly got any game time. Even if the shuttle came towards them, the boy in their team would move and play that shot. They soon moved to the sidelines as the boys continued to play.
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