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Marriages break up for many reasons. Physical intimacy outside the marriage is an obvious reason, but are there other 'sins' that matter too?
Marriages break up for many reasons. Physical intimacy outside the marriage is an obvious reason, but are there other ‘sins’ that matter too?
Anamika and Rohit were slowly falling out of love for a number of reasons. Being married for 5 solid years did not ensure that they would be together forever. The romance had fizzled out, the endless talks had shrunk and their fingers had stopped being intertwined with each other. They did not know why this happened – whether it was because of Rohit’s traveling job or Anamika’s recent depression after her mother’s sudden demise.
Rohit started staying away from home for work for longer than needed. He started exploring ‘other’ options to satiate his physical needs. One night stands without knowing the girl had become a norm. The flings did not mean anything to him and thus, he never carried that guilt. It was just an outlet for him to forget his marital status for a while.
Once, a girl told him that she would like to have more from him than these nights; he got up furiously and shouted, “Are you crazy? I have a wife and I am not going to leave her”. After that outburst, he slammed the door and went out. He never ever met that girl again.
Anamika on the other hand was struggling with another battle. Her depression had spread its evil fangs all over her life. She was in therapy and met her psychiatrist every week to let out the dark threads of depression. When she started feeling better, she got back to work. Things had changed a bit at work and there was this new guy named Piyush who had just joined her team. Piyush was single, cheerful and when he smiled, it lightened up the entire room. Slowly, Anamika and Piyush started bonding. Piyush’s emotional support helped Anamika to fight her depression. People at work started whispering about them, but they did not care. They never got physically intimate but their emotional intimacy was much deeper and honest.
Anamika decided that it was time to say goodbye to Rohit and start afresh with Piyush. When Rohit returned from his business trip, she broached the topic and told him about Piyush. Rohit slammed his fist on the glass table sending many shattered pieces all around. Their relationship was currently going through the same cracks. Infuriated, Rohit denied that freedom to Anamika and said, “Let us give just one more chance to our relationship”.
Anamika agreed. They started going to a counsellor regularly every week. Things were changing but very slowly. Then, the past came haunting. Anamika learned about one of Rohit’s past flings and went into a wild rage. When she confronted Rohit, he said, “None of it meant anything to me. Those were just flings.”
None of Rohit’s justifications could pacify Anamika. She filed for a divorce. After a year, they were legally separated. The court could not determine who had committed the graver sin. Rohit with his one night flings which did not mean anything or Anamika for whom her relationship with Piyush meant everything to her without being physical?
What was the bigger sin?
Image of a broken heart via Shutterstock
Hi! I am a certified holistic life coach from the University of Wellness, West Virginia. I am also a certified angel card reader, an energy healer, a spiritual teacher, an avid reader, a natural writer read more...
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Darlings makes some excellent points about domestic violence . For such a movie to not follow through with a resolution that won't be problematic, is disappointing.
I watched Darlings last weekend, staying on top of its release on Netflix. It was a long-awaited respite from the recent flicks. I wanted badly to jump into its praise and will praise it, for something has to be said for the powerhouse performances it is packed with. But I will not be able to in a way that I really had wanted to.
I wanted to say that this is a must-watch on domestic violence that I stand behind and a needed and nuanced social portrayal. But unfortunately, I can’t. For I found Darlings to be deeply problematic when it comes to the portrayal of domestic violence and how that should be dealt with.
Before we rush to the ‘you must be having a problem because a man was hit’ or ‘much worse happens to women’ conclusions, that is not what my issue is. I have seen the praises and criticisms, and the criticisms of criticisms. I know, from having had close associations with non-profits and activists who fight domestic violence not just in India but globally, that much worse happens to women. I have written a book with case studies and statistics on that. Neither do I have any moral qualms around violence getting tackled with violence (that will be another post some day).