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Sharing chores should be a given for true feminism at home. This is how I convinced my husband and ensured it in my newly married life.
I recently got married. Of all the things I have experienced since I got married I want to tell you about the feminism at my new home.
Since I was a teenager I had firmly decided that I will do my bit to change the world of women for the better. And this I would do not so much by being a social activist or a social worker but by bringing about the required changes in my home. That is all one needs to do to start the domino effect of social change.
So when I got married two months ago and finally had a home of my own, I was very clear about what I had to do.
Before getting married I had already told my boyfriend not to expect certain things from me the way he will see his friends expect from their wives. These would include treating cooking and cleaning as my personal bonded labour, expecting a child until we both wanted it, interference in my career and last but not the least ask for sex as a right.
Even though he agreed at the time, initially after we got married I would suddenly hear comments or jokes from him about what I’m going to feed him or if I know how to cook something. One time he in all seriousness and compassion, told me that it’s ok that I don’t know how to cook non-vegetarian food.
He didn’t realise that he was falling into the trap of gender roles because it is so deep-rooted in our minds, it is what we see and hear around us. I tried to tell him a few times but it wasn’t getting through at first. Finally I had to sit him down and tell him directly. “Listen…I love you…But I am not going to cook every day! You need to understand that I am not going to cook like all other wives. We can either keep domestic help or cook together.” He understood this time.
So when we finally moved into our new home and it was time to cook and clean we did it together.
Now when he has to go to work during the day I cook lunch and he cooks dinner. And both of us do the laundry in turns. The way my home runs is a great achievement for me. I am proud of it. My husband tells his friends about how we have divided all chores and they are always surprised. “Even cooking?” they exclaim. And my husband always proudly says yes.
Image is a screen grab from the movie Ki And Ka
I am a passionate person with strong views about social patterns and an agenda to contribute my bit to change the world for women for the better. read more...
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UP Boards Topper Prachi Nigam was trolled on social media for her facial hair; our obsession with appearance is harsh on young minds.
Prachi Nigam’s photo has been doing the rounds on social media for the right reasons. Well, scratch that- I wish the above statement were true. This 15-year-old girl should ideally be revelling in her spectacular achievement of scoring a whopping 98.05% and topping her tenth-grade boards. But oddly enough, along with her marks, it’s something else that garners more attention – her facial hair.
While the trolls are driving themselves giddy by mocking this girl who hasn’t even completed her school yet, the ones who are taking her side are going one step ahead – they are sharing her photoshopped pictures, sans the facial hair, looking nothing less than a celebrity with captions saying – “Prachi Nigam, ten years later”.
Doctors have already diagnosed her with PCOD in their comments, based on photographic evidence. While we have names for people shamed for their weight – body shaming, for their skin colour- racism, for their age- age shaming, for being a female- sexism, this category of shaming where one faces criticism for their appearance has no name. With that, it also has zero shame attached to it.
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