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So many people who feel compelled to write a letter to a daughter. Why aren't anyone writing similar letters to their sons? Don't sons need to know all that, too?
So many people who feel compelled to write a letter to a daughter. Why aren’t anyone writing similar letters to their sons? Don’t sons need to know all that, too?
Another beautiful letter by an iconic father to a proud daughter. Interspersed with pearls of wisdom, inculcating the family values, the sacrifices the parents made to raise their children, the values of austerity and compassion, the emotions the daughter espoused in them at different stages of her life, such heartwarming letters prompt you to pick up the phone and tell your parents how much you love them.
These letters are certainly thought-provoking but I feel uneasy when I read them. Not because I am neither a celebrity nor have a daughter so I know I will never be asked to write a letter to my daughter. I feel uneasy because I wonder why no parent wants to write a letter to a son telling him the sacrifices his parents made in raising him, telling him that it is not enough to carry forward the family surname, he needs to carry forward the family values too. Why no one writes to a son about the love that he is expected to reciprocate towards his parents/siblings.
Just like a daughter, a son too needs to understand the principles of sincerity, dedication, compassion and empathy endured by his parents in their struggling years. He too wants to know the troubles his father and mother took in raising a son thus subtly advising him what it takes to be a parent and keep a family together.
‘A son is a son ’til he gets a wife, but a daughter is a daughter all her life’ – the famous quote by Emily Giffin. Letters or no letters, you can be sure that a daughter will carry on the family legacy, she will be caring towards parents even if continents away, will make sacrifices for her own children, spouse and in-laws but son… you are fortunate if he does so.
His parents never told him what was expected from him as a son, as a husband. When he got married, he was not told that he would need astute diplomacy to do a fine balancing act between his parents and wife. Tilting towards one side once in a while is okay but being skewed beyond the acceptable range towards either side will certainly be detrimental to happiness of both the parties.
His wife on the other hand was explained in a letter by her doting parents what it takes to adjust and adapt for the new family. It was instilled in her that she needs to take pride in sacrificing her own desires sometimes (not always) to keep others happy but his parents never told a son that he too needed to accommodate and adjust for others’ sake.
His parents forgot to write a letter to him telling him that just like he has dreams, his future wife would also have her dreams and aspirations which he is expected to support. He was also never told that it’s not his right to plonk on the sofa and browse channels after a hard day at work, while his wife is expected to work tirelessly on both fronts. That at times he will have to put together a meal for his children/wife no matter how exhausted he is because it is not just enough to be a provider, he has to be a caregiver too at the same time.
No one wrote to him about the work-life balance that he is expected to strive for. He always assumed that cooking, cleaning, supervising kids’ homework, attending PTAs, running errands, tending to aged parents of both sides are his wife’s domains which he need not meddle with.
Right from the day, he was born, he was made aware of his rights but why did his parents assume that he would learn about his duties on his own? A son needs a letter too.
Image source: writing a letter by Shutterstock.
I gave up my day job as a Corporate Communication & PR professional to become a full-time author. I have been writing for journals for the past many years. Fiction writing is the new addiction. read more...
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UP Boards Topper Prachi Nigam was trolled on social media for her facial hair; our obsession with appearance is harsh on young minds.
Prachi Nigam’s photo has been doing the rounds on social media for the right reasons. Well, scratch that- I wish the above statement were true. This 15-year-old girl should ideally be revelling in her spectacular achievement of scoring a whopping 98.05% and topping her tenth-grade boards. But oddly enough, along with her marks, it’s something else that garners more attention – her facial hair.
While the trolls are driving themselves giddy by mocking this girl who hasn’t even completed her school yet, the ones who are taking her side are going one step ahead – they are sharing her photoshopped pictures, sans the facial hair, looking nothing less than a celebrity with captions saying – “Prachi Nigam, ten years later”.
Doctors have already diagnosed her with PCOD in their comments, based on photographic evidence. While we have names for people shamed for their weight – body shaming, for their skin colour- racism, for their age- age shaming, for being a female- sexism, this category of shaming where one faces criticism for their appearance has no name. With that, it also has zero shame attached to it.
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