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Neena Gupta on her trials, tribulations and living life on her own terms with tonnes of empathy and grace
It takes courage to talk about your flaws, admit your mistakes publicly and apologise in writing – that’s what makes Neena Gupta extraordinary, and her autobiography so real. Straight from the heart and honest is the USP of this memoir.
There is hardly anything about the veteran actor’s life which is unknown to the public – her bold and unconventional choices, living life on her own terms and living it gracefully, but her autobiography is much more than that.
Sach Kahun Toh is the candid depiction of her life story from childhood when she and her younger brother tried to make the best out of a ‘not so normal’ family.
Her orthodox mother who bought her stylish clothes, the struggles and challenges she faced as a newcomer in the film industry, her constant desire to find true love. The persistence to be accepted and recognised in the showbiz industry, balancing home and work, constant struggle to keep the kitchen fires burning, being both a father and mother to her child, surely it was tough but she tried, faltered, fell, and again rose which shows her resilience. Her fans would love her even more for this.
Until Badhaai Ho happened, despite being ambitious and talented, Neena Gupta could never be the lead actress.
She admits it would have been different if she had a mentor in the film industry, and reiterates that one wrong move in this showbiz industry can cost you dearly and ruin everything. Well, it isn’t true for all professions. But many times, life thankfully gives you second chances.
In her personal life, she regrets not spending enough time with her mother and be with her brother when he needed support and guidance.
The other thing which struck me is her positive persona. In spite of being aware that her father erred, she empathises with him and views things from his perspective. Not many would write it in an autobiography. It’s so very easy to just play the victim card and get sympathy votes, this speaks volumes about the actor’s compassion and empathy quotient.
Like in any autobiography, Sach Kahun Toh has many pearls of wisdom.
The author writes about an aunt who was like a mother and was an immense support to the actor during her pregnancy and even later, but their relationship turned sour for no specific reason; and reached a stage that the aunt wouldn’t even talk to her. “But that’s the thing about some people. They don’t need reason because their anger and discontent make them so bitter, they only see what they want to see.” she writes, and how true!
The actor also writes about a friend turning into a foe due to some misunderstanding. “If ‘true’ friends don’t try to understand you and break off with you even without knowing your side of the story, then they weren’t true friends to begin with.”
Very wisely, some names have been concealed to protect people’s privacy and the hurt it would cause to their respective families.
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Header image from YouTube and book cover via Amazon
I gave up my day job as a Corporate Communication & PR professional to become a full-time author. I have been writing for journals for the past many years. Fiction writing is the new addiction. read more...
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People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
It is shameful that in today's world too, women are abused and even killed for giving birth to a girl, and the infant's life is also of no value.
Trigger Warning: This deals with domestic violence, suicide, and violence against women, and may be triggering to survivors.
I am so glad that the esteemed courts are now giving the much-required verdicts regarding certain ideologies that were not at all entertained earlier. I mean we all have studied this much biology at our school level and it is our duty (our generation) to educate our elders about it.
Why someone have to lose a life to bring such awareness to the society. Delhi High Court gave this judgement concerning a case that filed by the deceased daughter’s parents against her in-laws. She committed suicide as she was harassed and tortured for dowry and giving birth to two daughters.
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