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Aren’t these very men taught to 'behave decently' with their female relatives? Then can't they put that to use and leave strangers alone?!
Try however hard I might, that horrific incident is still vivid in my memory. It was almost forty years ago. I was thirteen then, and we lived in a nondescript town in Haryana.
On that particular day my dad had taken me to a gynaecologist for a check up (I was facing hormonal imbalance).
It was evening when we left the clinic. The streets were poorly lit. As we hailed a rickshaw, my sixth sense told me that and something bad would happen and I was right!
The rickshaw puller had deliberately dislodged the metal chain connecting the two wheels. Each time he went to the rear of the vehicle to fix it, he grabbed my waist roughly, his face contorting into an evil grin. I squirmed and moved away from his grubby hands as best as I could. The chap acted so quietly that my father who sat beside me all along had no inkling of the goings-on.
Observing how I was fidgeting, my father asked me to sit still. I was too dazed to tell him the truth. I heaved a sigh of relief when we finally reached home. That night I took my mom aside and narrated what had happened. She hugged me tight, telling me that I must exercise abundant caution if such a situation recurred, in future. In retrospect, I could have told Dad while the nefarious deed was underway. But I don’t know why I was tongue tied.
Several years later, yet another horrifying experience came my way. And that too in broad daylight. I was 18 by then, and we had relocated to Kanpur, U.P.
One day after lunching at a dhaba as I was walking home with my mother and brother, a guy on a bicycle slowly crept up to the side of the road I was on.
He inched close beside me, pinched my bosom and then pedalled merrily away, as if nothing had happened. I was insane with rage and all I could do was shout some profanities while he was within earshot. It was not just the pain or shock of the act; it was a sense of shame, violation, abuse and helplessness that overpowered me.
This is not an isolated incident. It happened to me. It could happen to you. Or the girl next door. Who knows. It is the depravity of men which I find loathsome. Aren’t these very men taught to behave decently with their female relatives and kinsfolk? Well, if they manage to adhere to that moral code in certain controlled situations, why can’t they leave strangers (women unfamiliar to them) in peace as well?
Image for representation. Source: a still from the film Badrinath ki Dulhania
Am a trained and experienced features writer with 30 plus years of experience .My favourite subjects are women's issues, food travel, art,culture ,literature et all.Am a true feminist at heart. An iconoclast read more...
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UP Boards Topper Prachi Nigam was trolled on social media for her facial hair; our obsession with appearance is harsh on young minds.
Prachi Nigam’s photo has been doing the rounds on social media for the right reasons. Well, scratch that- I wish the above statement were true. This 15-year-old girl should ideally be revelling in her spectacular achievement of scoring a whopping 98.05% and topping her tenth-grade boards. But oddly enough, along with her marks, it’s something else that garners more attention – her facial hair.
While the trolls are driving themselves giddy by mocking this girl who hasn’t even completed her school yet, the ones who are taking her side are going one step ahead – they are sharing her photoshopped pictures, sans the facial hair, looking nothing less than a celebrity with captions saying – “Prachi Nigam, ten years later”.
Doctors have already diagnosed her with PCOD in their comments, based on photographic evidence. While we have names for people shamed for their weight – body shaming, for their skin colour- racism, for their age- age shaming, for being a female- sexism, this category of shaming where one faces criticism for their appearance has no name. With that, it also has zero shame attached to it.
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