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What is the role of a woman after she gets married in this country? A cleaner? A cook? A caregiver? Why is she expected to toil but not seek comfort from her own family?
The young woman, taught to dream and fulfil her aspirations, embarks on marriage. In an unfamiliar home with strangers, she’s expected to adjust and adopt the new household norms promptly, with little consideration for her desires.
Taunts assail her, questioning her upbringing,
“Did your mother not teach you anything? Have you learned no manners? Why don’t you know how to cook? Why are you squandering away my son’s money? Why do you sleep so late?”
The married woman is made to feel like a burden, worthless and insignificant, a scenario that persists today.
Seeking solace, she confides in her mother, only to be cautioned by her in-laws against disclosing marital issues to outsiders. Attempts to confide in her husband are met with suspicion, leaving her emotionally bottled up.
Rumours circulate about her mother being against her son-in-law.
In a specific instance, the mother visits the in-laws and witnesses her daughter caring for two bedridden patients without household help. The young married woman struggles with daily tasks, including extensive puja rituals.
When the married woman’s mother offers help, society questions her audacity, asserting that the married woman has to care for the family.
But what about the married woman? In the process of creating a new life with her wishes, she yearns for a confidant.
Why shouldn’t her mother support or listen to her?
Why brand her mother as evil or accuse her of turning against the new family?
Why harbour grudges against the son-in-law?
Why claim the married woman is dominated by her mother?
The married woman is in a learning phase, looking up to her trusted and admired mother. Why should her mother be shamed in her in-laws’ house, given the foundation of trust and learning she provided throughout the daughter’s upbringing?
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UP Boards Topper Prachi Nigam was trolled on social media for her facial hair; our obsession with appearance is harsh on young minds.
Prachi Nigam’s photo has been doing the rounds on social media for the right reasons. Well, scratch that- I wish the above statement were true. This 15-year-old girl should ideally be revelling in her spectacular achievement of scoring a whopping 98.05% and topping her tenth-grade boards. But oddly enough, along with her marks, it’s something else that garners more attention – her facial hair.
While the trolls are driving themselves giddy by mocking this girl who hasn’t even completed her school yet, the ones who are taking her side are going one step ahead – they are sharing her photoshopped pictures, sans the facial hair, looking nothing less than a celebrity with captions saying – “Prachi Nigam, ten years later”.
Doctors have already diagnosed her with PCOD in their comments, based on photographic evidence. While we have names for people shamed for their weight – body shaming, for their skin colour- racism, for their age- age shaming, for being a female- sexism, this category of shaming where one faces criticism for their appearance has no name. With that, it also has zero shame attached to it.
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