If Not From Her Mother, Where Will A Married Daughter Find Support?

What is the role of a woman after she gets married in this country? A cleaner? A cook? A caregiver? Why is she expected to toil but not seek comfort from her own family?

What is the role of a woman after she gets married in this country? A cleaner? A cook? A caregiver? Why is she expected to toil but not seek comfort from her own family?

The young woman, taught to dream and fulfil her aspirations, embarks on marriage. In an unfamiliar home with strangers, she’s expected to adjust and adopt the new household norms promptly, with little consideration for her desires.

Taunts assail her, questioning her upbringing,

“Did your mother not teach you anything? Have you learned no manners? Why don’t you know how to cook? Why are you squandering away my son’s money? Why do you sleep so late?”

The married woman is made to feel like a burden, worthless and insignificant, a scenario that persists today.

Why should a married daughter not seek solace from her mother?

Seeking solace, she confides in her mother, only to be cautioned by her in-laws against disclosing marital issues to outsiders. Attempts to confide in her husband are met with suspicion, leaving her emotionally bottled up.

Rumours circulate about her mother being against her son-in-law.

In a specific instance, the mother visits the in-laws and witnesses her daughter caring for two bedridden patients without household help. The young married woman struggles with daily tasks, including extensive puja rituals.

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When the married woman’s mother offers help, society questions her audacity, asserting that the married woman has to care for the family.

Why is the married woman’s mother branded as evil by in-laws?

But what about the married woman? In the process of creating a new life with her wishes, she yearns for a confidant.

Why shouldn’t her mother support or listen to her?

Why brand her mother as evil or accuse her of turning against the new family?

Why harbour grudges against the son-in-law?

Why claim the married woman is dominated by her mother?

The married woman is in a learning phase, looking up to her trusted and admired mother. Why should her mother be shamed in her in-laws’ house, given the foundation of trust and learning she provided throughout the daughter’s upbringing?


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Image source: CanvaPro

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About the Author

Anindita Nag

I love to write on women's issues. I strongly believe that every woman is capable of being more than just a homemaker. They are the leaders of our world. They can multi-task more read more...

50 Posts | 124,711 Views

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