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As a working woman, if I wish to take care of my mother, why do you have a problem with it?
When I joined one of the organisations on deputation, I was asked to fill up several forms as usual.
One of the forms was related to the individual’s dependents. In that, I also filled up the name of my mother, which I had been doing since the time my father died.
Immediately the junior official exclaimed, “You can’t fill up your mother’s name as a dependent!”
I was annoyed. All my male colleagues did have their mother’s name as a dependent if they had no other source of income as per the company’s policies. Then why I was being singled out?
The answer came soon enough. He asked, “Don’t you have a brother?”
Yes, I do have a brother and he’s more than willing to take up his responsibilities. However, he is ten years younger than me, and my mother always felt comfortable with me in certain things. Medical issues were one of them.
Being a firebrand (as they call me), I immediately called up the official’s senior and expressed my annoyance and the matter was resolved immediately, but that did leave a scar on my heart.
Why can’t a woman declare her widowed mother as her dependent when the mother has no other source of income?
The question, “Don’t you have a brother?” kept twitching my mind every now and then. I did know that the mistake was on the part of the junior official who had that mindset, and it was representative of the company, but that’s what worried me the most.
Patriarchy is so embedded in the thought process that a daughter taking care of her parents is something that is not digested easily by society. Even if the immediate family has no issues, outsiders will comment so much about it, that one might feel awkward.
I wondered about myself and my husband. We only have a single daughter (as per choice). With this archaic thinking of society, can she never take care of us when we need it? Obviously, like everyone else, I hope that I never do need her help. Financially, obviously, I won’t. However, physically, I might.
Will someone ask her the same question, “Don’t you have a brother?”
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Neelam Saxena Chandra is an Engineering graduate from VNIT and has done her Post Graduation Diploma in IM&HRD and also in Finance. She has completed a summer course in Finance from London School of read more...
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UP Boards Topper Prachi Nigam was trolled on social media for her facial hair; our obsession with appearance is harsh on young minds.
Prachi Nigam’s photo has been doing the rounds on social media for the right reasons. Well, scratch that- I wish the above statement were true. This 15-year-old girl should ideally be revelling in her spectacular achievement of scoring a whopping 98.05% and topping her tenth-grade boards. But oddly enough, along with her marks, it’s something else that garners more attention – her facial hair.
While the trolls are driving themselves giddy by mocking this girl who hasn’t even completed her school yet, the ones who are taking her side are going one step ahead – they are sharing her photoshopped pictures, sans the facial hair, looking nothing less than a celebrity with captions saying – “Prachi Nigam, ten years later”.
Doctors have already diagnosed her with PCOD in their comments, based on photographic evidence. While we have names for people shamed for their weight – body shaming, for their skin colour- racism, for their age- age shaming, for being a female- sexism, this category of shaming where one faces criticism for their appearance has no name. With that, it also has zero shame attached to it.
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