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As a working woman, if I wish to take care of my mother, why do you have a problem with it?
When I joined one of the organisations on deputation, I was asked to fill up several forms as usual.
One of the forms was related to the individual’s dependents. In that, I also filled up the name of my mother, which I had been doing since the time my father died.
Immediately the junior official exclaimed, “You can’t fill up your mother’s name as a dependent!”
I was annoyed. All my male colleagues did have their mother’s name as a dependent if they had no other source of income as per the company’s policies. Then why I was being singled out?
The answer came soon enough. He asked, “Don’t you have a brother?”
Yes, I do have a brother and he’s more than willing to take up his responsibilities. However, he is ten years younger than me, and my mother always felt comfortable with me in certain things. Medical issues were one of them.
Being a firebrand (as they call me), I immediately called up the official’s senior and expressed my annoyance and the matter was resolved immediately, but that did leave a scar on my heart.
Why can’t a woman declare her widowed mother as her dependent when the mother has no other source of income?
The question, “Don’t you have a brother?” kept twitching my mind every now and then. I did know that the mistake was on the part of the junior official who had that mindset, and it was representative of the company, but that’s what worried me the most.
Patriarchy is so embedded in the thought process that a daughter taking care of her parents is something that is not digested easily by society. Even if the immediate family has no issues, outsiders will comment so much about it, that one might feel awkward.
I wondered about myself and my husband. We only have a single daughter (as per choice). With this archaic thinking of society, can she never take care of us when we need it? Obviously, like everyone else, I hope that I never do need her help. Financially, obviously, I won’t. However, physically, I might.
Will someone ask her the same question, “Don’t you have a brother?”
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Neelam Saxena Chandra is an Engineering graduate from VNIT and has done her Post Graduation Diploma in IM&HRD and also in Finance. She has completed a summer course in Finance from London School of read more...
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If her MIL had accepted her with some affection, wouldn't they have built a mutually happier relationship by now?
The incident took place ten years ago.
Smita could visit her mother only in summers when her daughter had school holidays. Her daughter also enjoyed meeting her Nani, and both of them had done their reservations for a week. A month before their visit, her husband told her, “My mom is coming for 4-5 months!”
Smita shuddered. She knew the repercussions. She would have to hear sarcastic comments from her mother-in-law for visiting her mother. She may make these comments directly only a bit, but her servants would be flooded with the words, “How horrible she is! She leaves me and goes!”
Maybe Animal is going to make Ranbir the superstar he yearns to be, but is this the kind of legacy his grandfather and granduncles would wish for?
I have no intention of watching Animal. I have heard it’s acting like a small baby screaming and yelling for attention. However, I read some interesting reviews which gave away the original, brilliant and awe-inspiring plot (was that sarcastic enough?), and I don’t really need to go watch it to have an informed opinion.
A little boy craves for his father’s love but doesn’t get it so uses it as an excuse to kill a whole bunch of people when he grows up. Poor paapa (baby) what else could he do?
I was wondering; if any woman director gets inspired by this movie and replicates this with a female protagonist, what would happen?. Oh wait, that’s the story of so many women in this world. Forget about not giving them love, you have fathers who try to kill their daughters or sell them off or do other equally despicable things.
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