Four tips on parenting

The greatest gifts you can give your children are the roots of responsibility and the wings of independence.

-Denis Waitley

1. Upbringing: Children are very sensitive to the surroundings. Their home is their first learning space. They believe in what happens around them. If a child sees his father accepting bribe, he ages to believe that it is the correct thing. If a child finds that his mother is telling lies all the while, he grows up to believe that lying is a way of life. If, in the child’s house, a woman is not respected, the chances of his respecting girls or ladies around him is very less.

2. School: School is obviously a temple of knowledge. It is here that the myths/stories/gut feelings are made or broken. The teachers influence the child a lot. Teachers are often known as second parent. Stories abound that despite the parents stressing that something is wrong, the child will say strongly that, “My teacher has said so”.  Sadly, the respect which children should show towards their teachers is deteriorating. I even see a few parents talking to teachers disgracefully since they are so and so, which in the long way harms your own child.

I remember an old saying

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‘Guru Gobind dou khade, kaake jodu paaye

Balihari guru ki, gobind diyo bataye!’

(The teacher and God both are standing, whose feet should I touch first?

Naturally, I should bow down to the teacher first since it was him who made me understand who God is!)

The place of teachers is certainly higher even than Gods even in our mythology and honour is what they deserve and should get.

3. Peer group:

‘A man is known by the company he keeps!”

You believe it? I am sure you do! After all, we always see that birds of a feather flock together. Intelligentsia loves to speak with the knowledgeable, a poet loves other poets company and a drunkard loves those who drink. If it is so with elders, why not youngsters?

Friends matter a lot. Their opinions, their beliefs and their ideas have a long lasting effect on children. Ask any kid from where he learnt his first slang and the answer will be so and so friend. Question a youth who handed him his first cigarette and it will be a friend. When friends matter so much, isn’t it necessary that we keep a tab on the friends of our kids? Not that we can really do much about it for teenagers are always rebellious and if we stop them from meeting someone, they will ensure that they stay with that particular person. Hence, the issue has to be dealt with quite delicately and diplomatically – not saying and yet making the child comprehend.

4. Books, television and movies: Once upon a time, it was said that, “Books are your best friends.” Now it is no longer the same. We hardly inculcate reading habits in kids. My personal opinion is that conscious efforts should be made in development of this particular habit – firstly, because it increases child’s vocabulary and secondly, it opens up the doors of imagination and expression to the kids.

Television shows and Movies are not a strict no-no, but then keeping a check what parents are watching in front of the kids is very important. What we watch, will be watched by them too and they would learn the same. There are very good television shows and movies which should be watched with the kids so that they learn to appreciate good things and also learn in the long way. I don’t say that watching things just for the sake of entertainment is bad. It surely isn’t. a dose of humour or adventure is wonderful for sure. After all, it bonds families and gives a zing to do something better. However, there is a subtle difference between something ‘entertaining’ and something which can affect a child such as very violent films in early childhood.

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