We, My Mother’s Daughters, Also Lit Her Pyre Despite Being Told We Weren’t ‘Allowed’ To!

My mother had to wage a long battle before she passed away. She was in ICU for almost three-and-a-half months, and then too, she remained bed-ridden for long. When we were almost sure that she would soon be sitting and even walking, she was gone.

For some time, we couldn’t believe it. Then, slowly, we shook hands with truth. Our hearts still ache for her, but we know that these are the harsh realities of life.

At night, she was brought back to my home from hospital. Next day, my sister and I said softly, “We will also light the pyre!”

Who are these people who do not “allow” us?

My sister and I had firmly decided to go to the cemetery and light the pyre. Another female cousin remarked, “I wasn’t allowed despite strongly wishing to!”

I wonder why we even bother about these people who don’t “allow” things! Do they really come to help when needed? For six months my sister, brother and I along with our families had been taking care of our mother. Who else could? Then, why ask those supposed “holders of law” about what is to be done?

My husband, sister, brother, his son and I lit the pyre. My sister and I had a feeling that my mother would have preferred this.

Soon the word spread. One or two relatives didn’t turn up for the final puja. But did it matter?

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No, it didn’t! After all, they were not the ones around when my sister had left her job to be of help to mother in her last days. They weren’t the ones who were there when I would get up, go to the hospital, then to office, return to the hospital and come home late. They weren’t the ones when my brother, sister and I used to sit with her when her health was at the worst!

Image source: a still from Made in Heaven

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