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It requires a woman of some steel to be the other woman. You bury your dreams of having a family and children just to love a man, a married man.
Trigger Warning: This deals with infidelity and violence against women and may be triggering for survivors.
Before he leaves for home, he removes your lipstick stains from his neck and it feels like he casually erased a part of your existence.
Being the other woman is like being in the air. You are not single, you are not married, you are committed but you have to stay in a closet.
He has a wife, a kid and the societal stamp of marriage. You, you are the woman with questionable character, the mistress.
To be the other woman means to be a woman of steel, to see the love of your life return home to his wife, tell me, how would you feel?
He is not yours, but ‘he is also yours’. You live with this fact until he sees his family picture and realises that you can never secure a place in it.
When a married man demands your unquestionable loyalty, hypocrisy gets personified. Life becomes a piece of sarcasm, a joke, a lie.
You both are not friends, not families, not relatives. Your union becomes a secret, a guilt trip, a rebellion.
You dream of a wedding, a red saree and then you see his wedding ring shine on his finger. Something breaks inside you. You wonder if his conscience ever bites him. He just smiles.
Your unseen sacrifices die like your unborn dreams.
Being the other woman is like building a castle of stones on a riverbank. Is she more beautiful? Does he hold her waist like he holds yours? Does he call her jaan, like he does to you? You sleep on an empty bed with tear stained pillows.
Even if you don’t want to, you think about his wife and wonder whose fate is worse. Her husband in your arms, or your lover on her bed. He seems the luckiest of all.
There comes a day when your parents fix you up with a prospective groom. You go for a coffee date and he looks at you as if you are magic.
You freeze. You don’t know where to stare.
After all, none ever looked at you as if they want to be yours forever.
Image source: Unsplash
I am Janvi Sonaiya, native of Jam-Khambhalia in Saurashtra, currently based out Ahmedabad but a global citizen by choice. News steers me and I am intrigued by all that happens in the world we read more...
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People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
14 years after her last feature film Dhobi Ghat, storyteller extraordinaire comes up with her new film, Laapataa Ladies, a must watch.
*Some spoilers alert*
Every religion around the world dictates terms to women. The onus is always on women to be ‘modest’ and cover their faces and bodies so men can’t be “tempted”, rather than on men to keep their eyes where they belong and behave like civilized beings. So much so that even rape has been excused on the grounds of women eating chowmein or ‘men will be men’. I think the best Hindi movie retort to this unwanted advice on ‘akeli ladki khuli tijori ki tarah hoti hai’ (an alone woman is like an open jewellery box) came from Geet in Jab We Met – Kya aap gyan dene ke paise lete hain kyonki chillar nahin hain mere paas.
The premise of Laapataa Ladies is beautifully simple – two brides clad in the ghunghat that covers their identity get mixed up on a train. Within this Russian Doll, you get a comedy of errors, a story of getting lost, a commentary on patriarchy’s attitude towards women, a mystery, and a tale of finding oneself, all in one. Done with a mostly light touch that has you laughing and nodding along.
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