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The other woman. What about her feelings, her dreams, wishes, wants and needs? For isn’t she a woman like every other woman, after all?
Believe me when I tell you that I will think only of you whenever I see a sky filled with stars because our relationship has a striking resemblance to starlight.
Do you know that some stars are just a speck of dust but those are often the ones that shine the most? Just like our relationship.
Home-wrecker. Whore. Slut. That is what I am often called.
Really, all I want to do is watch a rainbow in the sky while holding your hands and still feel like a good person even though I know that only one of these things can happen at the same time.
I want to hold your soft palms without feeling the edge of your wedding ring that along with my fingers, pricks my conscience.
I want to listen to you tell me that I am your entire world and I want to have a chance to believe it.
I want to love you without the guilt and I want to kiss you without the pain of knowing that you are mine only as long as our lips are at it.
I want to make plans with you that don’t involve an alibi. I want to make real plans with you. Like what we can have for breakfast. That is, if you stay over, ever.
I want to start believing that you are not a whole different person when you are not around me. I want to know that you are not making ten year plans with her even before the perfume from the back of my neck can linger off your body.
I want the big small things. I want to share an ice-cream with you knowing that the other half of the ice-cream belongs only to me. I want to split a half melting chocolate bar and eat my share and eat the rest that sticks to your fingers.
I want to you to make love to me. When you hold my naked waist and press your lips against mine, I want to tell you that I have thought about this moment and pretended that my fingers were yours. I want your teeth to bite in between the folds of my skin and when you ask me if it hurts, I will tell you that it hurts terribly. It hurts terribly to not be able to do the same to you.
I will tell you that it does not hurt every time I see perfect photographs of the two of you. I will tell you that it is OKAY that you choose to hold her hands during daylight while you struggle at the very thought of making eye-contact with me in public. I will tell you that I don’t want you to leave her because I care about your happiness. I will tell you that all this cheating is not tearing down my heart and making me feel like a terrible person. I will tell you that I don’t think about whether our kids will have my eyes or yours every time you play with your children. I will tell you that I am not crying as I write this and that I really don’t wish that you were here to just hold me.
I will tell you all of this. But you of all people should know what a good liar I am.
I want to tell you so much more but I will end the letter here because we never have enough time.
I don’t have the rest of my life with you. I don’t have the rest of my day with you. Our conversations end when she opens the door. Our phone calls end when you cannot whisper anymore. Our dates end when someone we know might be around the corner. Our sex life is always dark no matter how many lights I choose to bravely keep on!
And my man, my letter will end right in the middle of a sentence despite me wanting to pour out my heart to you.
Because that is our fate and destiny after all.
Editor’s note: This is a work of fiction, a slice-of-life portrayal by the author.
Image source: sad woman crying by Shutterstock.
Frankly I do not understand the point of this post despite it being heavy on emotion. While it is perfectly justified for any human being to seek exclusive love , is adultery justified? If the other woman or the man are so sure about it,they must own up their relationship , end the first relationship and then plunge into this.That would be the right thing to do.
Very articulate… Exceptionally excellent
If she is in a relationship she is clearly sad about..what is she doing there? She seems to feel contended playing the victim.. so please spare those croc tears.
Beautiful,every line was filled with sadness. All emotions flowed out of heart.
to each his/her own. many have expressed strongly. it is the kind of post that would elicit strong views. i feel, sometimes you just cant help but love. even if every cell in your brain and body tells you to stay away. he is married and unavailable. one does sometimes fall desperately in love, inspite of better judgement. i loved the lines. so beautiful and painful
Beautifully expressed and any woman who is in love with a man she cannot legally be with can relate not just ‘the other woman.’ But adultery is not justified. She is causing unhappiness to another woman. Love just happens but it is important to have some principles.
I believe there are certain things beyond our understanding, adultery is one of those I guess….
Having been cheated in a relationship so brutally, no tear-jerker fiction can justify adultery to me. But yes, sometimes the other woman has no idea about the wife. And not everyone is strong enough to walk out of a relationship. Love blinds her and she then goes on hoping that he will divorce the wife and marry her. I see no sense in blaming the other women. It is the guy and only him who is a cheating douche-bag, wanting the best of both worlds, toying with the emotions of both the women. Again, these men enjoy all the protection from the patriarchal society and gets away with all these ‘adventures’.
By having an affair with a married man, this woman is making it difficult for herself and his wife. The man gets away, only to find greener pastures. While there are a lot of emotions she may be feeling, but it is in her interest to move away from this man……..cause if he is cheating on his wife, he will cheat on her too.
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