Read on how to enrich your life by purpose, i.e. to find depth and, a reason to get out of bed each morning, your own Ikigai.
It is a crazy world out there if you are looking to get married through Indian matrimonial websites. From funny to weird, you are likely to meet a variety of men. Are you up for it?
All I needed a cup of coffee to find you!! Really ?? Was that all? Naah…
I walked into the city of dreams on 31st May, 2013 at around 4.30 pm. I came here in Mumbai to execute a project which was due in November the same year. I had no friends in the city, but somehow felt home. It was the first city where I felt safe and comfortable being a working girl.
I wanted to stay back and pursue my career here. So started hunting for a job here and after completing the project I joined an ad agency.
My life was fantastic till my mom realized that I am turning 30 in next two years.
Just like any other Desi parent she started following up for only one thing, i.e, my marriage. Well… I really had no intention of that sort. I wanted to live independently and so I tried to avoid the matter for couple of months. Although I had my flings, affairs etc etc, and the conclusion was … I was not ready for marriage.
But, after a lot of emotional family drama I started a “matrimonial” profile of mine and boarded the Matrimonial local (slow train). During the journey I came across a lot of funny, weird, confused, pathetic, indifferent, psycho, disgusting, humble, loser, horrible, sober, decent, confused, amazing (that’s you) guys during the journey.
I am sure all the girls who independently look for their future partner must have dealt with these special characters. A few incidents left me wondering, “Are we really living in the 21st century?”
So here it goes:
There are a few guys who approach you for a future relationship and introduce themselves with the brand that they are working with instead of their last name. When the “prospective groom” introduced himself saying … Hi .. I am Mr. Blah working with “Some expensive Brand”, I found it really funny. And he was not the only one, I spoke to so many of these matrimonial products who market them with the Brand name they work for rather than themselves. Does any girl look for it? May be a few….
Weird is weird. I cannot really explain what exactly they are. I came across a super desperate guy was also searching for an ‘Online Bride’. He started asking me to meet him at a cafe. After seeing his photograph I did not want to (Me being mean!) meet or take it further.
But, he was so strong in his follow up that he told me that if you do not have time to meet, then you may share your mom’s number, I will talk to her and discuss our marriage.
This one also started with messaging on the ‘matrimonial inbox’ to phone calls to regular whatsapp chat. It was no doubt fun talking to him, chatting with him. I really started liking the guy. He was spontaneous, fun and cool. We used to share selfies, whereabouts and a lot more. But, when it came to talking about the future he was uncertain. In fact, I came across a lot of such samples. Thank God, I did not pursue them.
Well this was an extraordinarily amazing character. I started talking to him over GTalk, and even though I shared my phone number, he never spoke to me over a call. We generally used to chat after dinner, it was like a lullaby till one fell asleep.
In a couple of days time I realized this was also going nowhere. I still thought of making a clear communication and asked the guy what is he thinking about marriage and if only late night chats mattered in life. Basically, I wanted to clarify if I can sacrifice some more sleep or call it off.
On asking he got back to me on an email which said that his “Mom” may not like a daughter-in-law like me. However, he is highly impressed by me. Damn … is it really the 21st century? Or was I just talking to a hypocrite?
One of the guys who had approached me for talking and discussing possible future prospects was a film director (self proclaimed). Well this was not my problem at all but the problem was that he wanted to let me do whatever I want (only with his permission). I have no idea how people think they can monitor someone else’s life. He was a disgusting stalker and abusive.
I have never seen such a psycho. It was not only stalking, he probably thought he is going to be the master of my life. He in fact went up to such a level of conversation with me that he threatened me to take my life. Now that was some “Darr” moment for me.
While interacting with the “Prospective Grooms” you must have come across a very unique species of guys who are nice, decent, polite… in one word “gentlemen”. But damn… they have been so polite throughout their lives that they have become indifferent. So, now they have no idea what is the next step after showing interest. And you will not be able to even understand what are they up to. It is better you move on…
I just have to mention this, and I am 400% sure many of the girls still get the chance to meet such “men” whom I do not mind calling chauvinist. A well to do, educated, successful guy can also look for dowry in today’s world and they are not ashamed of asking for it indirectly. So I happened to find a guy who shared similar interests like me. However when we met I was shocked to death that he really asked for dowry politely. I was wondering if he wanted to take a voluntary retirement and become a house husband.
This was a guy who was the first one to interact with me. Well, I had a very simple profile uploaded on the matrimonial website with clear expectations. My expectation was to only let me be independent after marriage.
The guy was a nice person (I still believe) but he was not from the city of dreams. So, I decided not to go ahead. But, we are still friends.Then there was another guy who was in Mumbai for work and was looking for a bride and I guess he is still looking for one…
We use this term very often and quite casually. But, in life at times you get lucky and meet someone who really fits the bill. They think they are the best, know everything and their point of view is the final way of dealing with life. Though, this particular fellow was not good looking, rich or a good human being, still he wanted to marry a girl who should be good looking, rich, not tom boyish(which he thought I am). I am sure his search is still on.
It is a rare category in today’s world, but there are a few guys who are so decent (pretend to be) that if you ask them out on a date they may take you to a library, and by library I do not mean the Asiatic’s library steps.
During an exceptionally monotonous phase of my life, I got a notification in my inbox and decided to meet him at one of my most favorite places in Mumbai…. Marine Drive. The excitement began with the first conversation and we never stopped. But, I really wanted to meet a person like him and I am lucky to have him. I wanted to spend my life with a less complicated person and he brought out the child in me.
A fairy-tale relationship is not having someone who just loves you, but to have someone who can be as mad as you are and still enjoy the madness. Insanity will create memories and so we will.
Image Source: Still from Humpty Sharma ki Dulhaniya
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Small town girl with big size dreams !! Passionate about writing & biking.
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