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Why does a girl always have to grow up as a woman whose priority in life is being a homemaker, a mother, a wife and a daughter in law?
Today, once again I realized that if I want to address something then I use the power of the pen. Hence, sharing this with you all.
In most of my write-ups, I do mention that I am a feminist or probably I make it too obvious. In fact, even when I did not know what is feminism I guess I was a feminist. Maybe it is because I had to face difficulties when I wanted to have the simplest things of life or I guess when I saw the life of the other gender had a lot more freedom than what we get even in today’s times.
Although, I was so pampered that I was never “allowed” in the kitchen to cook for my family or so. But, when I was young, I had always helped my mother (she was a single parent). Until I started living on my own I never had to try my cooking skills.
But, today I was pretty disturbed seeing a post by a father of a 10-year daughter making something on the gas stove in the kitchen. He took pride in sharing the photo on a closed group on social media. And to my surprise, it got at least a few thousand likes, a lot of comments etc. She was not even able to reach the Kadai properly since she is so small but was trying to make “puri” in a kadhai which was half full of hot oil.
Maybe it is a very normal or fun thing for any family and not at all something how I am seeing it. I am sure it shows the affection she has for her father and certainly, the dad felt overwhelmed about his daughter’s extraordinary skill set to show her love for “daddy”. The father shared a heartwarming post but is it really so?
Why does a girl always have to grow up as a woman whose priority in life is being a homemaker, a mother, a wife, a daughter in law and if still some of her strength left then be the one who is independent and self-sufficient? Why is it in our system that independent girls don’t make good homemakers? Why an independent working girl has to manage both (office and house)? Are we all not responsible for the collective thought process of our society?
In fact in recent times, if I talk about TV shows/serials etc, there also we find these goddess-like women who are handling the family business or pursuing a dream and then comes back home by 7 pm and makes dinner for the family. She then serves everyone, takes care of everyone, gets up early the next day to do puja, make breakfast, lunch, packs all lunches for kids, husband etc and finally leaves for work. Is this is humanly possible?
I personally don’t think so but I don’t know how many of you will agree. I am trying to find a balance and I believe both men and women need to have it. In today’s competitive world none of it can be a cake walk but if we hold each other and move ahead without creating these small differences, then maybe our future generation will not think about gender biases.
Cooking is not a woman’s job and running a house is not a man’s. Whoever is good at whatever can do that. Today if you look a most liberal families even then you might see that the men do not know where are the sugar and coffee kept in kitchen, or maybe what is the difference between jeera and dhaniya powder and similarly a woman might not have sound knowledge when it comes to best SIPs, investments, online transactions etc.
I personally try to improve myself every day by taking small steps and guess you can do that too for a better life and better balance living. Cheers to true feminism 🙂
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My house-help asked excitedly, “I am going for wedding. Can you let me wear your red & black saree? To be honest I was stumped for a moment; I didn’t know what to say but I still said yes.
I lent a gorgeous saree to my house-help for a wedding in her family. Soon I stated getting questions if I would wear that saree again or if I was okay to be seen wearing the same saree my house-help was wearing?
We are all so conditioned to give our used clothes to our house-helps but are we okay to wear the clothes they were wearing?
A few days ago she came excitedly to me, “I am going for a family wedding. I want to wear your red & black saree, Ill wash and give it to you after the function. Please can you let me wear it?”
Beauty is a very clever, very evil capitalist tool. It traps those who have it into hanging on to it for dear life and those who don't into mutilating, torturing themselves to achieve the unachievable.
I recently wrote a piece about MP Shashi Tharoor’s tweet in which he had shared a pic with six women parliamentarians tagging them and saying “Who says the Lok Sabha isn’t an attractive place to work?”
There was a rash of comments on the post shared on Instagram, which ranged from “chill, it’s just a compliment” and “stop overthinking compliments”, to (worried) men lamenting about “these feminazi”.
Here’s my answer to all those comments.
To my young mind, being a woman felt inherently frightening and full of danger. The solution was to not be "one of the girls".
To my young mind, being a woman felt inherently frightening and full of danger. The solution was to not be “one of the girls”.
I recently read two brilliant books by author Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie; We should all be feminists and Dear Ijeawele, or A Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions. The books present a fresh take on what Feminism actually stands for.
As I was reading through these two gems, I found myself nodding along with the narrative in its entirety. I had the good fortune to listen to the audiobook in Adichie’s own voice, and it was an experience to last a lifetime. When you listen to an author narrate their own book, you get to feel the intensity of the words in the pages as the author intended them, and it is magical! It is my humble request to all the women and men out there to read these books as soon as possible. Life is a race against time after all, the sooner we get to the good stuff, the better!
It’s just not enough to teach a girl that she is equal when compared to her friend who is a boy. The boy needs to be taught too that he is not superior to the girls in his class or at home.
I was at the office water cooler one day, just filling my bottle, when I overheard some men talk about how women rush from office at 5 pm. So what if they come early, the men said. These women always have to leave early; if they can’t spend time at work then why can’t they just be stay-at-home moms or homemakers, they said.
Now, I like minding my business most of the time but right then I wanted to say something. But I stopped; I saw there was just one woman in their midst, and the look on her face told me to let her do the talking.