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Why is it so difficult to accept love as it is? And why are god, religion, status and gender the reasons why so many love stories end without a happy ending?
What is a love marriage? Answer could be – when two people fall in love and would like to spend and share the rest of their lives together. But hang on, is that enough for a marriage, in our society? I guess not.
Remember the movie and book ‘2 States?’ After having established harmony and love between the families of the girl and the boy, if there is some love left between the couple, they ‘get married.’
It is always seen in marriages – love or arrange, that one has to maintain a healthy relationship between with the in-laws. The relationship must look like the examples set by Bollywood (mostly)
As a woman it’s mostly your responsibility to ensure a smooth passage of the marriage, since, ‘men will be men.’ Over a period of time, we all have experienced changes in our life, and lifestyle. However, when it comes to a marriage the comfort of ‘ladkewale’ is always the responsibility of the ‘ladkiwale.‘ Even if a couple has a court marriage, or a band baaja one the main mathematics remains the same, chemistry may go for a toss. But who cares!
The process starts with convincing your parents, then your relatives from your mother’s side, father’s side. Meanwhile, be ready for various moments where you feel like giving up on marriage, and the efforts sometimes people take.
After that, comes the matching of kundali, caste, zodiac, gotram and most importantly, how much the boy has made in life and what the girl’s family is willing to spend and give. Although dowry is not legally taken anymore, the furniture, interior of the couple’s new house, a car, flat or the honeymoon all are taken care of by the bride’s family.
In fact, even today, lot of people do not get married to the person they have chosen since they rarely get approval. There are times when they are emotionally blackmailed and forced to marry someone their parents want.
It is surprising how love is not enough for a marriage. When a couple is in love, and want to spend their lives together, they still have to think of making the others in their life happy.
Why is it so difficult to accept love as it is? And why are god, religion, status and gender the reasons so many love stories end without a happy ending? While questioning all these things, we may notice how we truly aren’t independent. We often fail taking care of our heart in order to make others happy.
Whether it is work, or family life, we mostly try to follow others who have done well in accordance to the societal standards. We end up following these examples so blindly, we tend to forget our own selves.
Until we feel a personal burn, we keep on chasing the thing called ‘happy married life,’ where everyone else matters more than the couple. True love is togetherness for a lifetime that can happen at any age. It isn’t something you achieve by force or at a certain time or age simply because that’s how ‘it’s always been.’
A marriage is an agreement between two people to spend their lives together not just to get social validation to share a bed and make babies. It is a companionship as precious as any relationship in their lives. So let’s raise a toast to a beautiful life that isn’t a worksheet!
Picture credits: Still from Amazon Prime’s show Made In Heaven
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Small town girl with big size dreams !! Passionate about writing & biking.
I could totally feel this post..I am in this same situation now..My parents are not ready to accept the guy I love because of different caste and I am getting forced to marry someone of my parent’s choice..We have been taught in school that caste doesn’t matter.But when it comes to marriage, our parents are not ready to accept that..I couldn’t even imagine that I can’t spend the rest of my life with him..
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