7 Rubbish Things Perverted Men Say To Bengali Women That We’re Sick Of Hearing!

Bengali women are intrinsically more 'open minded' and vocal about their needs and lives, and hence fetishised by men as more 'sexual'. STOP already!

From as long as I can remember, I have heard ungracious jokes and derogatory things about Bengali women, particularly from North Indian men.

It isn’t solely Bollywood that needs to be blamed for portraying Bengali women as “witches who know black magic”, but rather the overall commonly held misconceptions surrounding our existence and life choices that make people believe they have the right to fetishise us. This article aims to talk about a few things that Bengali women are tired of hearing about themselves.

It must be noted that while Bengali women or simply Bengali individuals who are perceived as women by the society due to their appearances are being spoken about here, the intention behind doing so is not to exclude or disrespect people with other gender identities who might have had similar experiences.

“You have an extremely charged sexual energy.”

Statements like these are the very definition of the stereotypes that exist in this world about Bengali women. Sexualising someone because of your own perceptions or preconceived notions about them is offensive.

Such things are usually said to either ridicule Bengali women by making them feel they’re “just meant for sex” or to actually make sexual advances on them.

“The other Bengali girls I’ve met are much more “open” than you.”

The ones who think “openness” is all about how willing one is to have sex must be called out every time they make such objectionable statements. Someone’s open-mindedness can not be equated to how open they are to sex.

“Why won’t you sleep with me? Bengali women are supposed to be ‘liberal and progressive’!”

Anyone who believes liberation and progressiveness are all about how willing a person is to have sex with them is genuinely perverted, to say the least.

Most Bengali women I know are liberal and progressive. However, that has more to do with how career-oriented, independent and broad-minded they happen to be.

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“The other Bengali girls I know aren’t as shy as you.”

I hear this every time I reject someone’s proposition because, according to them, Bengali women don’t usually do that (what even?)

A Bengali woman doesn’t always refuse to have sex because she’s “shy”. Sometimes, she’s just not interested and sometimes, she can just sense that the person hitting on her is an MCP.

“You’re too feminine to just be into women.”

Okay, so Bengali women can’t be lesbians just because they’re feminine?

Also, no one’s under an obligation to prove their sexuality to others. If they say they have a certain sexual orientation, others have to accept it. Period!

“You’re too sexual to be viewed as marriage material.”

And who on Earth even wants to marry those men who feel entitled enough to say such things out loud?

It’s funny how some men think they can manipulate someone into sleeping with them by putting insecurities in their heads about them not being “marriage material”.

There is only one person who gets to decide whether a woman is “marriage material” or not — the woman herself. If she wants to get married, she is capable of doing so and if not, it doesn’t give random men the licence to pressure her for sex.

“I like you because other women don’t have your breasts.”

Do people really think they can validate Bengali women by commenting on their bodies or by telling them they are more attractive  than “other women”? If they do, then it’s high time they learn that objectifying someone isn’t the way to earn their respect (and consent).

No matter what you have been taught about Bengali women so far, it is time to unlearn anything and everything that can cause you to strip her of her agency. A woman’s “boldness” can not (and should) not be a sign for you to make her uncomfortable through your judgemental comments and lustful conduct.

Image source: a still from the film Honeymoon Travels Pvt Ltd.

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About the Author

Upasana Dandona

A dysgraphic writer who spends most of her time watching (and thinking about) Bollywood films. read more...

45 Posts | 232,108 Views

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