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Vikash is a man and thus, he must have all his demands met. That, after all, is an “unwritten law” that Sima aunty seems to follow.
A few days back, when the third season of the infamous show, Indian Matchmaking (2020-Present), dropped on Netflix, many of us approached it with very low expectations. Keeping that in mind, it was a relief to watch stronger women in this season, though most of the men and our favourite Sima aunty still remain unbearable.
One of them who needs to be called out is Vikash from California. Read on to know why.
No woman who values herself would ever settle down with a man who is even remotely similar to Vikash.
Vikash seems to be one of the most obnoxiously misogynistic men one can ever come across. He rejects multiple women who are clearly way better than him, and acts as if he is doing them a favour by agreeing to meet them.
By the end, I was left wondering how a person like him could be that demanding and demeaning. He discards them for the lamest of reasons, so someone needs to burst his bubble of superiority and tell him that other than being toxic, he isn’t quite the catch he thinks he is, either!
He says “a Brahmin girl would be ideal for him” and that, in a way, gives away his own internalised casteist mentality, which Sima aunty (surprise, surprise!) tries to politely call out.
He also “needs a woman who can make multiple babies with him.” I mean, who even has demands like these in 2023? Really, will he provide the womb and the physical and emotional labour?
He wants someone who “can speak Hindi, but doesn’t have a Indian accent” while communicating in English.
It’s unclear why he is so stubborn and harsh about wanting to marry a woman who can speak Hindi when he’s looking for a wife sitting in California and not in North India, and isn’t a great Hindi speaker himself!
As if that were not enough, he goes on to reject a woman just because she has a desi accent—or rather, doesn’t have an American accent—while speaking English.
It’s high time we stop making women feel as if they owe something to men who are more sociable as compared to them.
Right from the start, it appears as though Vikash is being applauded by Sima aunty and his parents for being extroverted. He refers to himself as the “life of the party” while also claiming to be entertaining. He also refuses to believe that a woman he has been set-up with is introverted and repeatedly pokes her for that until she firmly tells him that she is quite sure about her nature.
Are we supposed to be okay with outgoing men acting so picky and pricy all the time? Is being extroverted something that really needs to be celebrated? It’s a personality trait that half the population has!
Sima aunty expects her women clients to compromise all the time. She thinks it is unfair for them to wish for their husbands to have hair on their heads (?) or for girls to be too attached to their parents. She also feels that divorced women — no matter how qualified and attractive — have a “disadvantage” when older, mediocre men like Vikash can have their way in everything.
The question is: why does Sima aunty encourage men to remain toxic and chauvinistic? She pampers Vikash’ male ego and finds him good matches, one after another. So what if the women she introduces him to are a decade younger and deserve much better? Vikash is a man and thus, he must have all his demands met. That, after all, is an “unwritten law” that aunty seems to follow.
Seeing headstrong and determined women like Viral and Arti find decent partners in the third season of Indian Matchmaking is, obviously, refreshing to watch, given Sima aunty’s attempts to push them to settle down with men they clearly didn’t seem to be compatible with. However, even if the show has evolved in a few ways, aunty and the men whose bad behaviour she continues to enable remain frustrating, to say the least.
A dysgraphic writer who spends most of her time watching (and thinking about) Bollywood films. read more...
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Neena was the sole caregiver of Amma and though one would think that Amma was dependent on her, Neena felt otherwise.
Neena inhaled the aroma that emanated from the pan and took a deep breath. The aroma of cumin interspersed with butter transported her back to the modest kitchen in her native village. She could picture her father standing in the kitchen wearing his white crisp kurta as he made delectable concoctions for his only daughter.
Neena grew up in a home where both her parents worked together in tandem to keep the house up and running. She had a blissful childhood in her modest two-room house. The house was small but every nook and cranny gave her memories of a lifetime. Neena’s young heart imagined that her life would follow the same cheerful course. But how wrong she was!
When she was sixteen, the catastrophic clutches of destiny snatched away her parents. They passed away in a road accident and Neena was devastated. Relatives thronged her now gloomy house and soon it was decided that she should be married off.
Women today don’t want to be in a partnership that complicates their lives further. They need an equal partner with whom they can figure out life as a team, playing by each other’s strengths.
We all are familiar with that one annoying aunty who is more interested in our marital status than in the dessert counter at a wedding. But these aunties have somehow become obsolete now. Now they are replaced by men we have in our lives. Friends, family, and even work colleagues. It’s the men who are worried about why we are not saying yes to one among their clans. What is wrong with us? Aren’t we scared of dying alone? Like them?
A recent interaction with a guy friend of mine turned sour when he lectured me about how I would regret not getting married at the right time. He lectured that every event in our lives needs to be completed within a certain timeframe set by society else we are doomed. I wasn’t angry. I was just disappointed to realize that annoying aunties are rapidly doubling in our society. And they don’t just appear at weddings or family functions anymore. They are everywhere. They are the real pandemic.
Let’s examine this a little closer.
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