Check out 16 Return-To-Work Programs In India For Ambitious Women Like You!
Most Indian men still want a bride who is fair skinned, younger than them, less educated than them, well trained in household and daughter in law duties. Will they encourage her dreams?
I happened to watch a Tamil movie Ghatta Kusthi recently.
The hero of the movie is a 7th pass and is reasonably wealthy. He is shown to be jobless and on the lookout for a suitable bride. However he has two conditions – the words ‘unreasonable’ and ‘illogical’ to describe these conditions would be an understatement in my opinion.
He wants the woman he weds to have long hair that can be braided all the way down to the hip and also, her educational qualification should not exceed 7th std.
The heroine of the movie is a wrestler and a graduate – not a stereotypical village belle usually portrayed. She is not willing to marry someone with unreasonable demands. However due to extreme pressure from the family she agrees. And how does she meet the hero’s demand? By lying of course!
The girl’s family lie that she had studied only until 7th grade and attach false hair to impress the prospective groom. They eventually get married. Unfortunately the girl buries all her dreams once she gets married and diligently fulfills wifely duties.
At one point, the cat is out of the bag. The husband comes to know she is a wrestler when she rescues him from the enemies. While on one hand he is shocked to find that her long hair is false, on the other hand, he is drowned in shame since it is his wife who drives away the enemies with her exceptional wrestling skills. That she is a graduate seems to drown the husband further deep. Ego clashes and disagreements that follow, push them far apart.
Thankfully, towards the end of the movie the husband realizes that all his preconceived notions about an ‘ideal wife’ are wrong. He apologizes openly and encourages her to pursue her dreams. The ending definitely brought some solace to my heart.
However, the movie made me think loud about our society as a large.
Even in today’s world I feel the stereotypical definition of an ideal woman still exists.
Fair skin, soft-spoken, young, well-educated but a degree lower than the husband – the list is endless. And does every husband put his mental blocks and societal pressure aside to encourage his wife’s dreams?
In my own circles, I have seen affluent, well-educated parents of prospective grooms listing out several conditions. Some even go to the extent of strictly stating that the girl should sacrifice her career and passions after marriage.
Change in mindset is only possible when we as a society work towards raising our voice against such prevailing trends. Marriage should result in union of two hearts and mutual upliftment of each other rather than sacrificing and burying one’s dreams all together.
A freelance storyteller and a writer by passion. read more...
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!
UP Boards Topper Prachi Nigam was trolled on social media for her facial hair; our obsession with appearance is harsh on young minds.
Prachi Nigam’s photo has been doing the rounds on social media for the right reasons. Well, scratch that- I wish the above statement were true. This 15-year-old girl should ideally be revelling in her spectacular achievement of scoring a whopping 98.05% and topping her tenth-grade boards. But oddly enough, along with her marks, it’s something else that garners more attention – her facial hair.
While the trolls are driving themselves giddy by mocking this girl who hasn’t even completed her school yet, the ones who are taking her side are going one step ahead – they are sharing her photoshopped pictures, sans the facial hair, looking nothing less than a celebrity with captions saying – “Prachi Nigam, ten years later”.
Doctors have already diagnosed her with PCOD in their comments, based on photographic evidence. While we have names for people shamed for their weight – body shaming, for their skin colour- racism, for their age- age shaming, for being a female- sexism, this category of shaming where one faces criticism for their appearance has no name. With that, it also has zero shame attached to it.
Please enter your email address