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I am sure you all have witnessed such incidents wherein a woman was blamed and the man was not even asked for a medical test.
Trigger warning: This deals with domestic violence and infertility and may be triggering for survivors.
I’m writing this inspired by one of the webseries I am watching currently. I will reveal its name in my next piece – for the moment, let it be a mystery.
My father taught me that education plays a very important role in the life of an individual; it crafts your thoughts, endows insights about a subject and creates awareness. Today, I could relate to every word he taught me.
People (here I am not only referring to the middle or lower class but also the higher class) are so insensitive that if a woman is not able to conceive they will always blame the woman and not the man.
Sometimes parents are even aware about it but they refuse to accept and continue blaming the woman. To add to the problem, if she conceives and gives birth to a daughter, the blame is again dumped on her head, despite the well known scientific fact that the gender of a baby depends on the man’s chromosome – X or Y – that the fertilising sperm carries!
I would like to ask, why a son’s infertility is hidden by parents, whereas a daughter in law’s infertility or incapability is announced publicly? I am sure a lot of you have heard this word “baanjh” which a childless woman is usually referred to.
Becoming a mother is a dream of most women I guess, experiencing the beautiful journey of nurturing a life within you, and if a woman is unable to do so, it is already an excruciating agony for her and the society add’s to it by their taunts and harassment.
I am sure you all have witnessed such incidents wherein a woman was blamed and the man was not even asked for a medical test. A dialogue from the web series actually pushed me to write on this subject. It said, “Am I valued only if I have a child?” Seriously, I have experienced that in some families the only thing they want from a daughter in law is a male heir and they go to any extent to get it.
I have also heard somewhere “pehle pati patni to ban jaaye fir maa baap banenge” (can they truly become husband and wife before they become parents?”) and it’s so true. It’s very important for a couple to first live the relationship of a husband-wife and sometimes in this spree of having grandchildren; the relationship of husband-wife is ruined.
I work with a diplomatic mission and I was told by one of the diplomats (an official representing a country abroad) that India is gaining power in all aspects but needs to pay attention on aspects like religion, caste discrimination, and gender equality – to name a few. I would once again like to reiterate that my intention is not to hurt anyone’s feelings or offend them, it’s just that when I come across such topics I feel it’s better to bring them out as it might bring a transformation someday.
Image source: a still from the film Agni Sakshi
Smriti Malhotra is a Delhi girl and an avid dreamer. She works at the Embassy of the Republic of Congo by profession but is a writer by passion. She began writing while at school and read more...
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UP Boards Topper Prachi Nigam was trolled on social media for her facial hair; our obsession with appearance is harsh on young minds.
Prachi Nigam’s photo has been doing the rounds on social media for the right reasons. Well, scratch that- I wish the above statement were true. This 15-year-old girl should ideally be revelling in her spectacular achievement of scoring a whopping 98.05% and topping her tenth-grade boards. But oddly enough, along with her marks, it’s something else that garners more attention – her facial hair.
While the trolls are driving themselves giddy by mocking this girl who hasn’t even completed her school yet, the ones who are taking her side are going one step ahead – they are sharing her photoshopped pictures, sans the facial hair, looking nothing less than a celebrity with captions saying – “Prachi Nigam, ten years later”.
Doctors have already diagnosed her with PCOD in their comments, based on photographic evidence. While we have names for people shamed for their weight – body shaming, for their skin colour- racism, for their age- age shaming, for being a female- sexism, this category of shaming where one faces criticism for their appearance has no name. With that, it also has zero shame attached to it.
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