My Parents Refused To Chain Me To Patriarchy So I Should Do The Same For Gen Next!

Like everyone, I used to celebrate Independence Day on the 15th of August, read a lot in history books, heard so many stories about the same, and used to feel happy that the slavery to the British had ended.

Having said that, even a single NO for anything made me feel like I was deprived to taste freedom. I am sure every rebellious teenager would feel the same, and I was not an exception.

I grew up with privilege

Being the only girl child, my parents never raised me ‘like a girl’. I was free to choose what to wear, what to do, and whom to talk to!

Yes, girls of my age around me were not ‘allowed’ to enjoy this privilege. Being a small-town girl, these were privileges not all the girls had back then. However, that was not my case.

There was a lot of criticism that my parents faced while they raised me, because their way did not fit in the set norms of society. Being friendly with boys, wearing all sorts of clothes, laughing my heart out, and no filter with my words! I was often considered a ‘spoiled brat’, and people asked their kids to not be friends with me. That, in turn, led me to make more male friends, which my parents were fine with.

The actual pointing of fingers began as I grew older

It is always easy to swim with the tide; the real effort starts when we try to swim opposite the flow. Similar is my case.

After I entered certain age, my ‘character’ became the favourite topic for everyone to talk about, and every alternate day there used to be a rumour about me being ‘linked’ to someone. Filthy things being told about me, my dressing sense being judged… it was not easy for me; but being a parent now, I now understand how it would have been even tougher for my parents! They stood by me throughout and never let me change. The way they trust me and support me to date helps to keep the fearless me alive.

Whether a man or a woman, society will always have a say in whatever you do or not do! If you keep paying heed to what they say, they will accomplish their mission of pulling you down! You should instead dare to step up and show them that you are living your life, so why must you live it on somebody else’s terms and choices?

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Real freedom is letting everyone be; just let them be themselves. No judgment or compulsion or criticism whatsoever!

So the message to the younger me is

Dear teenager Nilshree,

You survived the tornado absolutely gracefully! You always listen with your brain and follow your heart, that is a rare thing to do. However, be that same rock-solid support to your kids that your parents were and are to you, if they face anything of a similar sort.

Your parents tried to bring in the much-needed change of mindset for you. I hope you sail on the same tide and initiate some change for the betterment of future generations. And for that, you do not need to do big things, you just need to do a lot of small things in the right way.

Continue being the unapologetic you!

This August, we have working women writing a deeply personal letter to their younger selves – from the time they were teenagers or college students or young adults just stepping out into a career, and later too when they came up against problems – telling them that they should embrace their #freedomtodream and how this will take them on their journey to get to where they now find themselves.

If you are a working woman and want to write a similar letter to your younger self, log in to your author dashboard or register here as an author, and upload your piece with #FreedomToDream or #FreedomToBeMe in the title. We’d love to hear from you.

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