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"When you don't get something that is promised, you call it a scam, right Mam? I feel marriage is a scam, especially in India."
When I have teenagers in my class I have to be more of a friend than a mentor to them.
In my last class, I heard a group of girls giggling and teasing one of them. Upon asking the reason they shared that the one who always attempted crime and murder mysteries is now drawn to write romantic poems; Valentine’s Day being round the corner, all the teasing was happening. I enjoyed that light moment for a couple of minutes and took my class ahead.
After my class, I managed to strike up a conversation with the same girl. So, this girl is a Colleen Hoover fan. She deeply believes in love, but she does not want to get married.
“When you don’t get something that is promised, you call it a scam, right Mam? I feel marriage is a scam, especially in India. I have seen my uncle’s marriage break because of the expectations and family pressure. I see my mom either adjusting and sacrificing or cribbing about her marriage. What I read in books is not in sync with what I see around me. I see my parents saying “I love you” to each other, and then I think, do they even mean it?” she paused, “Okay Mam, not sure why I just blurted out in front of you! Gotta go, bye Mam!”
This girl left, but her thoughts remained with me. The clarity of thoughts is intimidating! And how true is that, right?
I tried to recollect my thoughts on this incident, and, to be frank, they were no different! The only thing that was missing was, I thought I would be the changemaker and chain breaker; but I did not realize when I got used to the default settings… so much so, that I forgot to customize them for myself!
I mean, we Indians have hyped married life to a level where we have changed its whole essence.
Adjusting, compromising, and sacrificing are all part of a married life, as far as they are being done by both parties equally. It is a lifetime partnership right, all the investments that go into making it have to be shared, and then the joys will multiply. A new bride coming into the house can be considered a DAUGHTER or DAUGHTER-IN-LAW and that depends upon the way the family receives and accepts her.
Hence, Gen Z and Millennials deciding to stay single, in one way, is a very mature decision. It is about avoiding all the baggage and trauma that follows and choosing to live life on your terms. If you want them to believe in the institution of marriage and happily ever after, then show them the same picture in real too. They won’t trust you until the spoken words and actions are in sync!
Image source: YouTube/ Made in Heaven
A mother, homemaker, self-published author, founder, and podcast host at Authoropod. read more...
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A feminist man sometimes seems like an oxymoron, but maybe there are some out there. How is it to be married to a feminist man?
How is it to be married to a feminist man?
This is a working list. Will keep adding to it.
Do you also have a feminist man at home? And if yes, what is it to be married to him? Do share.
"There is a story and a vision which makes us gravitate towards cinema. Even as we worked as assistants on ads, we realised that cinema was our true calling," say Gunpreet Kaur Mann and Deepali Singh Raseen.
The Railway Men. Mili. Cuttputli. The Diplomat. Bade Miyan Chote Miyan. And more…
Let me introduce to you the talented designer duo who have worked on these, and can be considered today’s upcoming costume designers for the screen. Gunpreet Kaur Mann and Deepali Singh.
Having studied at NIFT, Gunpreet Kaur Mann sent her portfolio out to several designers. Her first gig was as an assistant stylist with Manoshi and Rushi, who also happen to be a designer duo. She worked on an ad film starring Saif Ali Khan and eventually landed a full time job with designer Vikram Phadnis. Years of experience as assistant costume designer followed, which eventually led her to getting a break.
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