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After all, marriage means marriage only, be it for a man or woman. Then why does everything changes only for women, and not men?
The other day when I went for some checkup at a hospital, my details were asked. After saying that I’m a married woman, they asked for my husband’s name and mentioned on it as the wife of. While in the next counter, the details of a male patient is also being noted just like me and they have asked him for his father’s name and written as the son of.
Though I didn’t started any discussion with them at that time, I wondered why is it so, that my identiy shall be with my husband’s name whereas a male person elder than me, though married is identified with his father’s name. I wanted to ask him why he didn’t asked me for my father’s name or asked that person for his wife’s name, just like the way he asked me for my husband’s name.
Does being a married woman alone made all this difference? Marriage happens between two people, a man and a woman, not just a woman getting married to a man. Man getting married to woman or woman getting married to man, both are same. After all, marriage means marriage only, be it for a man or woman. Then why does everything changes only for women, and not men.
People call me as feminist for asking the same. Feminist in a negative connotation. But why is it so that being feminist is seen negative way. I’m not a man hater or someone who supports only women or someone who always speaks against men. I’m just asking, if anyone who see feminists as some negative people or as man haters, can give proper reason or explanation for the differences created just because of gender, woman.
As read somewhere that, there are no specific rights for woman and men separately. Human rights are women’s rights and women’s rights are human rights, once and for all. I hope at least now people will understand this and hope there will be a world where people need not fight for their basic rights which are being denied based on gender.
Image courtesy: A still from Udanpirappe
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I recommend reading Manjiri Indurkar's Origami Aai alongside her memoir to have a fulfilling and enriching experience of telling one's story with grace.
It’s All In Your Head, M famed author Manjiri Indurkar’s debut poetry collection, Origami Aai, is independent and yet an extension of her memoir in which she speaks with utmost grace about all forms of abuses that she has survived. In this book of intriguing and evocative poems, the poet weaves words to form images of the everyday life of her middle-class family, love found and lost, trauma, and healing.
The collection is divided into four segments, beginning with the family, slowly moving towards the world, and finally colliding them together.
We aren’t in mourning, but we are creatures of habit.
So we talk of each one who died of drowning,
and I listen to her stories with the patience
of a chronicler.
– Funereal Stories
When someone accuses you of "too much feminism", what they are really saying is, "I am uncomfortable with you challenging the status quo and disrupting my privilege".
Time and again, there is one phrase that keeps coming up in the social media discourse on feminism. Any guesses?
Ah, no prizes for guessing the infamous “itni bhi feminist” or “too much feminism” phrase, a classic eye-roller for me, and I am sure for many more of my tribe, in the realm of gender equality discussions.
Pray tell me, how can an ideology, a movement be too ‘much’? It’s not salt or the seasoning of your soup where you can go, “Oops, too much salt, only one spoon was required”. Either you stand for what feminism stands for, or you don’t.
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