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If the first child is a girl, the daughter in law is forced to go in for a second one saying it's definitely going to be a boy this time. What happens if it's a girl? She's asked to go in for a third one!
If the first child is a girl, the daughter in law is forced to go in for a second one saying it’s definitely going to be a boy this time. What happens if it’s a girl? She’s asked to go in for a third one!
Unbearable pain! Pain from the stitches due to C-section- not for a week, not for a month, rather went on almost for two months!
I couldn’t move much, couldn’t feed my child, couldn’t change sides while sleeping, without screaming out in pain.
Though it’s almost 13 years now, I am still filled with dread thinking about those days. Thanks to this pain I never thought of going in for a second child.
I was left dumbstruck when I heard one of my acquaintances had a third C-section! How could she? How did she? And why? So many questions started to flood my mind.
Ah… of course, the family wanted a boy! She has two girls and now without a boy who would carry forward the family legacy! An educated girl like her, she too fell prey to their pathetic demands.
Luckily for her, she gave birth to a boy, what if it was a girl? And at what cost! Doctors had clearly told her after her second daughter that she cannot go in for a third C-section, yet the family did not pay heed. They were completely okay even if her body went through all the torture, the cuts, and the pain, rather did they care about it at all!? For them, their khandaan ka chirag was more important than their daughter in law.
She cries in front of me, complains about how her back aches, how her stitches hurt, how it’s so difficult to take care of three children, how no one listened to her, including her husband!
This is just one of the innumerable stories we hear on daily basis, especially here in India. It is really sad, that even though man has reached the moon and now soon Mars, yet people are still living in the same old world where son is a must.
Women who give birth to two daughters are cursed, are looked down upon, by none other than other women themselves! Is it her fault that she gave birth to a girl child?
If the first child is a girl, the daughter in law is forced to go in for a second one saying it’s definitely going to be a boy this time. What happens if it’s a girl, she’s asked to go in for a third one! Does she have a choice?
Two of my neighbours went in for their third child. Young, educated women opting for three children in today’s age, it’s beyond my understanding. One of them was threatened by her mother in law that she would get her son married elsewhere for the want of a male heir. She didn’t have a choice but to go in for the third child, that too C-section!
One of my friends went in for a third child after 11 years of gap, her eldest daughter was 14 when she gave birth to her third daughter. Who guarantees the third one is going to be a boy? But did she have a choice?
Aren’t daughters enough?! In fact, they’re more than enough. They take care of their parents as much as the sons would. But the society thinks otherwise.
Nobody ever thought about the mother who had to bear the C-section scar, the scar for life. They were too selfish in fulfilling their lame wishes.
And for her, did she have a choice?
Dear readers,
After going through the immense pain from my C-section, I was completely sure I wouldn’t go in for a second child and I’m really happy with my decision for many reasons.
But I’m really saddened by the way things haven’t changed even today for so many women. It’s a sad state of affairs!
What are your thoughts? Do let me know in the comments section.
Published here first.
Image source: a still from Ghost Stories
Mother to a bubbly teenager and a student of psychology, Heena is also a travel enthusiast. She loves to observe the happenings around her and weave them into beautiful stories. A writer with a passion read more...
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Neena was the sole caregiver of Amma and though one would think that Amma was dependent on her, Neena felt otherwise.
Neena inhaled the aroma that emanated from the pan and took a deep breath. The aroma of cumin interspersed with butter transported her back to the modest kitchen in her native village. She could picture her father standing in the kitchen wearing his white crisp kurta as he made delectable concoctions for his only daughter.
Neena grew up in a home where both her parents worked together in tandem to keep the house up and running. She had a blissful childhood in her modest two-room house. The house was small but every nook and cranny gave her memories of a lifetime. Neena’s young heart imagined that her life would follow the same cheerful course. But how wrong she was!
When she was sixteen, the catastrophic clutches of destiny snatched away her parents. They passed away in a road accident and Neena was devastated. Relatives thronged her now gloomy house and soon it was decided that she should be married off.
Women today don’t want to be in a partnership that complicates their lives further. They need an equal partner with whom they can figure out life as a team, playing by each other’s strengths.
We all are familiar with that one annoying aunty who is more interested in our marital status than in the dessert counter at a wedding. But these aunties have somehow become obsolete now. Now they are replaced by men we have in our lives. Friends, family, and even work colleagues. It’s the men who are worried about why we are not saying yes to one among their clans. What is wrong with us? Aren’t we scared of dying alone? Like them?
A recent interaction with a guy friend of mine turned sour when he lectured me about how I would regret not getting married at the right time. He lectured that every event in our lives needs to be completed within a certain timeframe set by society else we are doomed. I wasn’t angry. I was just disappointed to realize that annoying aunties are rapidly doubling in our society. And they don’t just appear at weddings or family functions anymore. They are everywhere. They are the real pandemic.
Let’s examine this a little closer.
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