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A Journey In Search Of A Soul Mate

Posted: March 29, 2021
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When a marriage is not a necessity to ensure the security of a relationship and such a relationship has seen at least 5 winters, I would like to call it a Romantic Commitment. 

What happens after we die; a line of thought says, we lose all kinds of existence, like, we are here today and not ANYWHERE tomorrow. Super scary to me. But well the intent of this article is not to delve into those mysteries.

Another line of thought believes that post death, our bodies see the dust but the SOUL remains. And that idea, has given a lot of ‘weight’ to the soul. One of the implications of the potential existence of the soul is the importance of soul mates.

Do I believe in a soul mate? Did I ever believe in one?

Answer to the first question is ‘I don’t know…maybe, maybe not’.              And to the second question is ‘Yes!’.

For the sake of this article and to help build my conviction in this matter  for the sake of all the believers out there, I am going to adopt the belief that ‘Yes! A soul mate does exist.’

A vast majority of us do believe that soulmates do exist, maybe not throughout our lives but at some point in our lives.

Who is a soul mate?

The Oxford dictionary which describes a soul mate as ‘A person ideally suited to another as a close friend or romantic partner.’

Bam! goes my initial idea of a soul mate! So I do not need to be romantically involved with ‘The One!’ Really.

I am not a person who can be convinced easily, so I shall continue my investigations and introspection towards finding the answer.

I think, for starters, a soul mate should have the following qualities:

  • Likes my company – As basic as this might sound, haven’t we seen relationships where people who can’t stand each other co-exist? Defies the purpose of being together…
  • Can have long, long, long conversations with – which are fun, intriguing, boring, argumentative – but never judgmental.
  • Can have long, absolutely comfortable periods of silence
  • Understands the actual me, not the me which I put out to be socially acceptable. Do I know the actual me? Debatable. But maybe some meditation courses might fix that.
  • There is tons of warmth and love, the selfless kinds of course, between us.

There can be a lot more to the above list, which I do not know as of now, however intend to get to as I delve into this further.

Are the tried and tested relationship ‘types’ a good way of reaching a soul mate?

Either it was my mom’s genetic code, the chick flicks/romance in the movies or stories like Cinderella, and the ardent belief in the existence of Prince Charming, is core to my being.

A good part of my life I have believed in the existence of a Prince Charming. That Prince Charming and ‘Soul Mate’ are supposed to be one and the same person.

But then, life hit me. And then I started questioning my ‘core’.

Are soul mates different from the people we are romantically committed to?

I would say Romantically Committed and not Romantically Inclined, as inclination does not take much. Especially during the years of the youth.

Marriage or Wedlock is a contract, and hence to fulfill and live the terms of this contract, one has to base a relationship on a bunch of practical bullet points.

When a marriage is not a necessity to ensure the security of a relationship and such a relationship has seen at least 5 winters, I would like to call it a Romantic Commitment.

The couples who fall into the Romantically Committed bucket, are they soul mates? I wish I knew! But let me try to put my ideas in words, so that I can reach a conclusion.

These couples can live together, do activities together, raise kids together, make decisions together, and have conversations with each other.

Do they completely understand each other, maybe not?

Are they absolutely selfless in their interactions with each other, Ummmm…..

Do they always need words, sometimes as long as essays to express their needs and feelings, maybe, and if so, what’s wrong with that! After all that is why language was invented right?

The question here probably is, Can you live up to the standards of society, fulfill the expectations society thrusts on you and still be soul mates?

Would it be easier to find ‘The One’ and live with him/her, if we lived lives absolutely, completely, wholly on our own terms.

Do we actually need a Soul Mate?

What void does a Soul Mate fill? Why do we need one and do we really need one? What is the connection?

Relationships form a super important part of our lives. After all we are ‘social animals’; some more social than the others.

Our physical, moral and emotional sanity depends upon the people we have around us…Hence Relationships!!!!

Relationships do have conflicts due to countless reasons.

Inability to understand each other leading to misunderstandings

Inability to satisfy emotional needs, one way or both ways

Ego

The list to these conflicts is endless.

Hence, what if, we come across a relationship which has ZERO conflicts.

How do we identify the relationship with a soulmate?

Maybe when the two individuals understand each other completely, and to some extent share a common view towards the higher values of life – spirituality, core political inclinations, the don’ts in life and stuff like that defines the core of a person.

They may not need to love the same sport (or any sport for that matter) relish the same food, have the same taste in clothes etc. I would like to believe that they can have completely opposite tastes, in ‘worldly’ matters, but that would not impact their peace.

Soul Mates survive thick in Contradictions.

How?

They potentially have the capacity of tuning themselves to each other’s likes and dislikes without having to change themselves.

They can engage in conversations which might not interest them, but are willing to be open to learn the other’s perspective.

They may hold the same religious faiths or different, but their route to spirituality would be the same.

Their commitment towards each other is selfless and the relationship is based on ZERO terms but sole presence of each other in their lives.

Dealing with each other does not result in Ego conflicts under any situation.

What void does a Soul Mate fill?

It allows us be the person who we truly are, at that point in time”. Why the ‘point in time’ is important? Because like everything else in nature, change is constant with Humans too. We are constantly changing.

And the Soul Mate since the start of association till the association lasts, never feels the pinch of that change.

How long should one look for a soulmate?

Well, unfortunately, we humans are a stickler for control. We have to plan our lives; we thrive on our need to control every event in our lives. We want the best – for us, for our kids, for our family etc.

And time and again, life proves to us that the Remote Control, might lie somewhere, if ever, but it is not in our hands.

Within the constraints of such a life, I think ‘hunt’ for a Soul Mate is futile.

We need life to take its path, lead us to people who are meant to be; and if ever a certain association over a period of time makes us feel complete, fill that void and connects with us at a level deeper than any other association has…Lo and Behold, tag Soul Mate.

Image source: Valentin Antonucci on pexels

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