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Once you're married, your only introduction will be 'Mrs. XYZ.' All your qualifications will vanish and you'd only be someone's wife.
Once you’re married, your only introduction will be ‘Mrs. XYZ.’ All your qualifications will vanish and you’d only be someone’s wife.
In comparison to older times, our society had changed and developed quite a lot. However, we still lack when it comes to women. We identify men and men in every manner – whether he is single, married, widowed, divorced or a single parent. No matter what, he will still add the prefix ‘Mr.’ to his name.
However, when it comes to women, she is identified based on her relationship status, even with her name. When she is single, she needs to add ‘Miss’ as a prefix and ‘Mrs’ when she is married. Also, our society seems to believe that women will change when their relationship status changes.
If you are single, well-educated, independent and earn your own living, you are praised by society. Your parents are also proud of you. They will introduce you as their daughter to everyone with a lot of pride. However, once you’re married, they will introduce you as someone’s wife like ‘Mrs. XYZ.’
Suddenly, all your education and qualifications seem to vanish and you are only someone’s wife. And that is fine up to an extent and even women can accept it. However, if things don’t work out and you get a divorce or separate from your husband, society’s behaviour towards you will change!
Every single person will judge you. The ones who were once proud of you will now see only your faults. Your relatives, most likely, will not like to meet you. And your parents will live in the fear of the questions people will ask about you.
No one will try to understand your point of view because according to our patriarchal society, only women are wrong. Men, no matter what, are never wrong. All the faults are there only in women. Suddenly, every good quality of a woman vanishes and she is merely judged on whether or not she is married and what her relationship status is.
Let’s please let the women live their life on their own terms. They will be the same regardless of their relationship status. Their relationship isn’t their identity, it is only a choice she makes for herself!
Picture credits: Still from Netflix’s movie Lipstick Under My Burkha
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Shows like Indian Matchmaking only further the argument that women must adhere to social norms without being allowed to follow their hearts.
When Netflix announced that Indian Matchmaking (2020-present) would be renewed for a second season, many of us hoped for the makers of the show to take all the criticism they faced seriously. That is definitely not the case because the show still continues to celebrate regressive patriarchal values.
Here are a few of the gendered notions that the show propagates.
A mediocre man can give himself a 9.5/10 and call himself ‘the world’s most eligible bachelor’, but an independent and successful woman must be happy with receiving just 60-70% of what she feels she deserves.
As long as teachers are competent in their job, and adhere to the workplace code of conduct, how does it matter what they do in their personal lives?
A 30 year old Associate Professor at a well-known University, according to an FIR filed by her, was forced to resign because the father of one of her students complained that he found his son looking at photographs of her, which according to him were “objectionable” and “bordering on nudity”.
There are two aspects to this case, which are equally disturbing, and which together make me question where we are heading as a society.
When the father of an 18 year old finds his son looking at photographs of a lady in a swimsuit, he can do many things. What this parent allegedly did was to dash off a letter to the University which states: