Check out 16 Return-To-Work Programs In India For Ambitious Women Like You!
Marriage is not about sharing responsibilities. Nope, not at all. It is about raising a 35-year-old man-child along with your own kids.
How many of you thought of marriage as a blissful journey holding hands together and walking on the wet sand of a beautiful beach? Wait, hold on come back to reality because marriage is nothing but a trap. It is a way to behold a woman, to make her incapable emotionally, financially and psychologically.
Marriage is not about sharing responsibilities. Nope, not at all. It is about raising a 35-year-old man-child along with your own kids. This grown-up man would expect you to smile and support him all the time, and it wouldn’t matter if he supports you or not. He would expect you to feed him like his mom but rarely ask you whether you have eaten or not. And our society will always be on his side.
This trap will often make you feel guilty of whatever you do as a wife, a mother or a woman. And even if you don’t ever want to feel this guilt, people around will make sure you couldn’t escape it.
You will quite possibly start feeling suffocated because you, once, had a free soul who did as she pleased and took your own decisions. But after marriage, you will ask for every single thing and you will be dependent on another person.
A stranger, someone who was a no-one will become your ‘everything.’ Meanwhile your own family will have to be nothing in comparison. The people who once thought you were worth everything will no longer be in the picture!
Quite often, this new person, who is now your life partner will disrespect and demoralise you. He will abuse you and your family but you will have to keep quiet the entire time. If you say something against him or his family, there’s a chance he might throw you out of ‘his’ house, the one that you decorated and made into a home.
Soon, you’ll realise that there is nothing that you can call as your own. The relationship will be one that involves and is built on fear. So, no matter how traumatic and problematic the conditions are, if you leave your husband’s house, you will be looked down upon. And if your parents aren’t progressive enough, you genuinely will have nowhere to call home.
This is how most marriages in our society function – with a very chauvinistic approach. We have different rules for men and for women. And while we can’t change these patriarchal thoughts overnight, we can definitely try. Haven’t we all heard the saying, ‘Try try till you succeed?’
A version of this was earlier published here.
Authors note: All of these are my personal opinions, based on my experiences. I am sure you all have different experiences and opinions. Do let me know those in the comments!
Picture credits: Still from Hindi TV series Kasauti Zindagi Kay 2
I am a person who believes that happiness lies in enjoying little things in life. Love to read. At times prefer to write to pour my heart out on paper. read more...
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!
Neena was the sole caregiver of Amma and though one would think that Amma was dependent on her, Neena felt otherwise.
Neena inhaled the aroma that emanated from the pan and took a deep breath. The aroma of cumin interspersed with butter transported her back to the modest kitchen in her native village. She could picture her father standing in the kitchen wearing his white crisp kurta as he made delectable concoctions for his only daughter.
Neena grew up in a home where both her parents worked together in tandem to keep the house up and running. She had a blissful childhood in her modest two-room house. The house was small but every nook and cranny gave her memories of a lifetime. Neena’s young heart imagined that her life would follow the same cheerful course. But how wrong she was!
When she was sixteen, the catastrophic clutches of destiny snatched away her parents. They passed away in a road accident and Neena was devastated. Relatives thronged her now gloomy house and soon it was decided that she should be married off.
Women today don’t want to be in a partnership that complicates their lives further. They need an equal partner with whom they can figure out life as a team, playing by each other’s strengths.
We all are familiar with that one annoying aunty who is more interested in our marital status than in the dessert counter at a wedding. But these aunties have somehow become obsolete now. Now they are replaced by men we have in our lives. Friends, family, and even work colleagues. It’s the men who are worried about why we are not saying yes to one among their clans. What is wrong with us? Aren’t we scared of dying alone? Like them?
A recent interaction with a guy friend of mine turned sour when he lectured me about how I would regret not getting married at the right time. He lectured that every event in our lives needs to be completed within a certain timeframe set by society else we are doomed. I wasn’t angry. I was just disappointed to realize that annoying aunties are rapidly doubling in our society. And they don’t just appear at weddings or family functions anymore. They are everywhere. They are the real pandemic.
Let’s examine this a little closer.
Please enter your email address