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Marriage is not about sharing responsibilities. Nope, not at all. It is about raising a 35-year-old man-child along with your own kids.
How many of you thought of marriage as a blissful journey holding hands together and walking on the wet sand of a beautiful beach? Wait, hold on come back to reality because marriage is nothing but a trap. It is a way to behold a woman, to make her incapable emotionally, financially and psychologically.
Marriage is not about sharing responsibilities. Nope, not at all. It is about raising a 35-year-old man-child along with your own kids. This grown-up man would expect you to smile and support him all the time, and it wouldn’t matter if he supports you or not. He would expect you to feed him like his mom but rarely ask you whether you have eaten or not. And our society will always be on his side.
This trap will often make you feel guilty of whatever you do as a wife, a mother or a woman. And even if you don’t ever want to feel this guilt, people around will make sure you couldn’t escape it.
You will quite possibly start feeling suffocated because you, once, had a free soul who did as she pleased and took your own decisions. But after marriage, you will ask for every single thing and you will be dependent on another person.
A stranger, someone who was a no-one will become your ‘everything.’ Meanwhile your own family will have to be nothing in comparison. The people who once thought you were worth everything will no longer be in the picture!
Quite often, this new person, who is now your life partner will disrespect and demoralise you. He will abuse you and your family but you will have to keep quiet the entire time. If you say something against him or his family, there’s a chance he might throw you out of ‘his’ house, the one that you decorated and made into a home.
Soon, you’ll realise that there is nothing that you can call as your own. The relationship will be one that involves and is built on fear. So, no matter how traumatic and problematic the conditions are, if you leave your husband’s house, you will be looked down upon. And if your parents aren’t progressive enough, you genuinely will have nowhere to call home.
This is how most marriages in our society function – with a very chauvinistic approach. We have different rules for men and for women. And while we can’t change these patriarchal thoughts overnight, we can definitely try. Haven’t we all heard the saying, ‘Try try till you succeed?’
A version of this was earlier published here.
Authors note: All of these are my personal opinions, based on my experiences. I am sure you all have different experiences and opinions. Do let me know those in the comments!
Picture credits: Still from Hindi TV series Kasauti Zindagi Kay 2
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