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Our ‘Protectors’ Aren’t Always Male; Let’s Not Diss The Sisterhoods That Hold Us Up

Posted: August 21, 2020

Some of the best people who have stood by me and seen me through tough times have been some close female relationships that I have found in my life.

As a young girl who grew up with the same traditional norms of society as most of us have in India. I often questioned the set cast in which we enveloped few individuals as our protectors.

Firstly I feel everyone should learn to protect themselves in every aspect, be it protection against physical harm, against all sorts of harassment and against all forms of toxic relationships. We definitely cannot learn skills to protect ourselves from the womb itself, but eventually as we grow older we should make our rules our own comfort zones and as our elders say our own ‘laxman rekha’.

Traditional ‘protectors’ of women

Definitely we are always surrounded by people who care and this is not to undermine some terrific souls that guard us physically, mentally and spiritually. Many of us have been lucky to have genuine caretakers and guides in our father, in our brothers, in our husband, in our uncle, in our son, in our nephew or in our male friends. The important role that they play in the formation of our life is definitely big.

But here is where I want to add onto the list and not just keep the role of a protector limited to one gender only.

It has personally been my experience as an only child that the role any woman has played in my life has been of immense importance, even though the men have played a big part, and I have been lucky enough to get the support in some priceless relationships.

Mothers or mother figures

But the underlying factory here is some of the best people who have stood by me and seen me through tough times have been some close female relationships that I have found in my life.

As much as we sing odes about mothers only once a year, we actually don’t see that how much they influence our lives. It’s like they are giving us a free ticket to a ride in life and through their experiences we see in real time the actual ups and downs of life.

We see our mothers live through situations and we absorb their mindset and coping mechanisms in many similar situations in our lives. A mother will never tell you to relive her experiences but she will always show you the way out should you end up in the same rut.

Sisterhood of friends

Being an only child ever since I can remember, I have found a circle of protective female friends. Definitely we lose some friends, we grow apart from them as life has its way of taking people on different paths. But if one looks close enough, every phase in our life we had a guiding friend. Someone who even if is not going through the same situation , has the maturity and ability to listen and be there.

We hear so many stories of women not being there for other women and I can’t help but think that it’s so unfortunate that some women aren’t lucky to have a circle even if it’s just a circle of 4 people. Our friends are always the silent protectors and guides, and it does take effort and years of getting through life to actually hang onto the people who put their own struggles aside just for you.

Women we meet through marriage

We also find strong feminine relationships in some indirect ways, I definitely have, whether it’s through our parents or through our bond of marriage. We do come across some amazing women in form of cousins and sisters in laws. We end up having some honest and brave friendships with them and that just adds onto the circle of protectors.

Human beings can very well survive in solitude and be their own power house of energy. But even then we draw strength from those who are rooting for us, we may not realise it. And more often than not our biggest protector is our strong circle of women.

Image source: Max Ravier on pexels

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