Check out 16 Return-To-Work Programs In India For Ambitious Women Like You!
When I was to be arranged in a marriage, my sheer work profile would scare off any prospective suitors. I remember my mother telling me that someone saw my profile, but they felt I was too fast and had seen quite much for my age!
Off late, I have been thinking of the price of my choices in life. The age-old saying that every choice costs something, either a penny more or a blow to your image or a lessening of your circle. Something always weighs in when you make a choice that is defying the herd.
I, for one, have always lived in a herd and also had friends in a herd, but ever since I was a child I had this streak of being the different one amongst the group.
I remember when I was in grade 5, although living with a joint family system in India there were many things one had to share, I was adamant about a study desk and a study corner. Of all the material desires any young pre-teen would have, I longed for some stability during my studies.
And my parents arranged for the same, I still remember my excitement of having something that was mine, and I didn’t have to share. But it came at a cost of being so different from my family, instead of asking for a fancy wardrobe or a bed I asked for something that labelled me the Nerd of the family.
There would be many days I would silently sit at my desk and have small tears come out as I would make my timetable, because of a comment someone said earlier that day. But that didn’t stop me at all, I enjoyed studying and till the time I was in academics I was always much above average and yes the first in my family to get the grades that I did in some very tough subjects.
Fast-forward to a few years into my early twenties, my life was already decided by my parents, but little did they or I know that my choices would again lead me down a different path. Taking jobs in very exciting profiles that required me to travel to unknown places within and outside India, the wealth of knowledge that I gathered, and the independence that I saw completely changed the course of my life.
That was the age when I was to be arranged in a marriage, but my sheer work profile would scare off any prospective suitors. I remember my mother telling me that so-and-so saw my profile, but they feel I am too fast and had seen quite much for my age.
And I would wonder, so is that a bad thing?
To be good at what you do and also get a chance to build your character and life skills set?
Even now that I am married to a progressive man, leading my independent life with choices we both make for the betterment of our lives. I still have to face labelling from people. In Indian society, there is very less place for a woman who wants to be an equal in her marriage, and who wants to prioritize mental peace over age-old traditions.
Here if you see a woman wanting to work, live separately from her family, and make bold choices for her life. There is bound to be a label.
Honestly, living in a borderless world, I see so many cultures through different mediums and I have realized one thing. In every culture, there is an expectation. But that expectation costs individuals quite a lot. It is up to every person to choose not to follow something just because they are forced to.
Of course, being called a nerd, ultra-fast and headstrong for my choices were labels that hurt me, but at the end of the day I have to live with my choices and if I can go to sleep each night at peace with my day.
Well, then being at peace is a label worth fighting for.
Image source: sinseehophotos, free and edited on CanvaPro
read more...
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!
People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
It is shameful that in today's world too, women are abused and even killed for giving birth to a girl, and the infant's life is also of no value.
Trigger Warning: This deals with domestic violence, suicide, and violence against women, and may be triggering to survivors.
I am so glad that the esteemed courts are now giving the much-required verdicts regarding certain ideologies that were not at all entertained earlier. I mean we all have studied this much biology at our school level and it is our duty (our generation) to educate our elders about it.
Why someone have to lose a life to bring such awareness to the society. Delhi High Court gave this judgement concerning a case that filed by the deceased daughter’s parents against her in-laws. She committed suicide as she was harassed and tortured for dowry and giving birth to two daughters.
Please enter your email address