Starting A New Business? 7 Key Points To Keep In Mind.
Photo by Melissa Askew on Unsplash
I have been thinking alot about adult friendships, not just because I am now turning 31 and handling life and it’s many turns. But because when I was 15 I always thought friendships will last a lifetime and didn’t realise that for something to last a lifetime, it requires efforts, mutual efforts.
In conversation with two of my friends, I firstly pride myself in having friends who are absolutely different from me, I have friends who have chosen different life paths in terms of personal life choices and professional. This has not been an obstacle for us. Infact with the unrelated stories we have, we have always managed to be there for each other.
This isn’t however true for many of my other friends, with whom I have nothing in common anymore, am sure I too have failed them in some way, the way they have failed me. We occasionally connect on obligatory events and birthdays. We ask each other how we are and give a blanket response that says nothing but it serves the purpose of the momentary discussion.
Adult friendships is hard work, like maintaining professional life with hard work, like maintaining health with efforts like having solid relationships at home with parents or spouse or child. Every great relationship is made on efforts. We cannot deny that.
I often compare real life with the series FRIENDS, I have always admired the honest portrayal of friendships.
So similar to so many of us going through different hardships in real life and yet being there to pop the champagne at our friends celebration.
Times I have felt that I am so different from some of my closest friends with whom I had mostly everything in common up till college. Now married and away looking after our own lives. I often see that we are so different.
The homogeneity has evaporated somewhere.
And our lives have become as different as they show on the series of FRIENDS.
Chandler and Monica going through a difficult phase with wanting to expand their family yet they were absolutely there and supportive for their friends unplanned child even gave up the name of their child for their friend.
Ross being divorced time and again and absolutely failing at maintaining a family. Yet he is the best support for his sister’s marriage from the start.
Rachel had it all and she gave it all up to start a new, being an almost bride and wife, she let go of all her competitiveness when it came to her best friends getting married to amazing men.
Joey is the perfect example of a friend who has the most diverse life and his unwavering affection for his friends and their life troubles is remarkable.
Last but not the least, the character I adore, Phoebe had nothing normal most of her life, from not having a childhood to not having a family to having an estranged sister to not ever being able to afford good education.
Her character is the most resilient and loving, she has missed so much and she is the biggest cheerleader of her friends.
Purest form of friendship is when you have nothing going for you and you can still celebrate your friend.
Most of us are now one character or the other.
I know I am a mix of Monica and Phoebe, I have friends like Rachel and Joey. I know on most days I am Ross and some of my friends are Chandler.
But despite our differences we are there for each other. Maybe not in the attached at the hip way like we were. Maybe not on the phone all the time like before.
But there are still friends in my life who will pick up my phone if I call in the middle of the night and I know I will do the same for them.
Friendship isn’t you have this and I don’t.
Friendship is you have this and I have this but not of it matters if we have each other.
This post has published with none or minimal editorial intervention. Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!
If a woman insists on her prospective groom earning enough to keep her comfortable, she is not being “lazy”. She is just being practical, just like men!
When an actress described women as “lazy” because they choose not to have careers and insist on only considering prospective grooms who earn a lot, many jumped to her defence.
Many men (and women) shared stories about how “choosy” women have now become.
One wrote in a now-deleted post that when they were looking for a bride for her brother, the eligible women all laid down impossible conditions – they wanted the groom to be not more than 3 years older than them, to earn at least 50k per month, and to agree to live in an independent flat.
Most of my women clients are caregivers—as mothers, wives and daughters. And so, they tend to feel guilty about their ambitions. Belief in themselves is hard to come by.
* All names mentioned in the article have been changed to respect client confidentiality.
“I don’t want to take a pay cut and accept the offer, but everyone around me is advising me to take up what comes my way,” Tanya* told me over the phone while I was returning home from the New Delhi World Book Fair. “Should I take it up?” She summed up her dilemma and paused.
I have been coaching Tanya for the past three months. She wants to change her industry, and we have been working together on a career transition roadmap.
Please enter your email address