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Who serves my mother or I? Does any man even think about that? They won’t because my mother encourages it. But will it be a sin if the men served us?
Despite being women, some old-fashioned mothers follow certain things that implicitly hail chauvinism in this feminism-centric age. Being my mother’s daughter and my mother’s elder son’s sibling, I know how cruel it is to lead a life that differentiates between the two genders at inexplicable levels.
Be it chopping vegetables, cooking and cleaning, washing clothes or dishes, everything by default falls under my mother’s duties. Right from the time I could understand things around me, there would be chaos around what I should do as a girl. This was mostly because I would become the ‘daughter-in-law’ at someone’s house in the future.
That being said, let me cite those four chauvinism-centric practices that mothers should quit.
As I grew up, my mom’s responsibilities fell on my head. She would say, ‘Clean your cupboard and arrange the clothes properly.’ And then, the same lady would go and arrange her son’s cupboard herself.
Why does the same mouth fail to direct my brother to do the same? She would say, ‘Daughters are women and women are supposed to clean.’
Isn’t her statement a sharp sign of chauvinism?
If my mother is sleeping or shopping, she informed me beforehand, ‘Akila, whenever your brother wants to eat, serve him. I have kept the food in the kitchen.’
What the hell? Who serves my mother or I? Does any man in the house even think about that? They won’t because my mother herself encourages it.
And who told her that men should not serve? If they do, would that be a sin?
Even while dining together as a family, men expect women to serve the food. When everything has been cooked and kept ready, would it still be too difficult a task for them to serve for themselves?
Look how chauvinism thrives even at this age. Should it not be attributed to those mothers’ chauvinism-inclined vision?
There is nothing wrong with women having to be patient and graceful. But doesn’t the same logic apply to men?
Sometimes when I get annoyed by someone’s behavior at home, I would scream my lungs out to express my frustration. And my mother would say, ‘Women should be patient. They should not scream like this. Remember you have to go to your husband’s house in the future. Change yourself to avoid recreating the same sort of attitude at his place.’
Anybody would lose their cool. And anybody would grow furious. All of us are human beings, after all. But why do only women not reflect their anger and remain tight-lipped and conceal their distraught heart?
Why is the world being biased enough to say that only women should adjust and not dictate the same terms and conditions to men as well?
Is this not chauvinism?
If the men at my home spill their coffee accidentally or anything for that matter, they would call out, ‘Akila, clean this place!’
Why can’t they do it by themselves?
I would literally sulk and do the task though my mouth wouldn’t stay shut.
‘Why? Can’t you do this yourself?’ it would deliver effortlessly. And I would receive no response because my words are literally shrugged off.
Now, who do you think is responsible for this action? Is it not my mother’s chauvinistic-guidance?
Things like these galore when men are brought up with the so-called ‘male ego.’ When women are equally qualified and financially sound, why is this kind of unjust treatment meted out to them?
Mothers with male children should understand this and try not to stimulate such baseless practices in their children. Instead they should sow seeds of an egalitarian society where both women and men are treated at par with each other.
It would also be a good move if they start encouraging their sons to help them out on the domestic front. Every small initiative will fix the existing flaws in the feministic path and construct a holistic society rid of chauvinism.
Picture credits: Still from Marathi TV series Agga-Bai-Sasubai
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