Keen to learn more about inclusive workplaces? Want to be inclusive of the LGBTQ+ community? Learn more & request an invitation for a very special 2-hour session here!
From someone who earned her own living to someone who depended on her husband for the smallest of things, this woman shares her thoughts.
Wouldn’t it hurt if you had to separate from your financial independence?
I was someone whose bank account was once filled with her own hard-earned money. And thus, transitioning into someone imploring another for a few bucks was unbearable. Be it for household expenses like the monthly groceries or getting my laptop repaired or take a cab or even to buy a hair-clip, asking my husband for money was utterly suffocating.
There were moments when I felt my ego and self-respect taking hits and my anger only flared. During a shopping visit, my husband bought me a kurti after several hushes and disagreements. Ultimately, he wanted me to get something of his choice since, it, of course, was his money. And I had to accept it with shame and some love.
Not having a say in choosing something I would be wearing seemed wrong. But it was fine. Somehow I did not find myself stopping the ‘shopping.’ Being the kind of person I am, I did find my feet walking towards the leggings section to get myself some leggings. All this before my husband finished the billing.
Once I got the leggings, I hurried over to him and handed my pick which he refused to bill and said, “I will get it for you the next time.” My face, at that moment, flushed a deep red in disgruntlement. Or maybe out of my fading self-respect.
And at that moment, a question arose in my mind, ‘Had I been working, would I have faced such a situation?’
Right from doing something for yourself to doing something for your parents or siblings, if you aren’t working, everything needs the husband’s ‘mercy.’ Only when he approves are you free to do what you want to. There is yet another pain- that of people not counting on you to check your availability to plan something out.
If I hadn’t tasted the perks of being an employed woman, I wouldn’t be writing this. I don’t really regret quitting my full-time IT job because it was a well-thought and well-planned decision. However, facing the bitterness of reality is like trying to swallow a handful of bitter-gourd.
A woman who isn’t working is considered to be an unpaid house-management staff whose only purpose is to serve the people. It is all about acting under other people’s orders and directions.
I know what it is like to have a mind of my own and chart out plans. Given that it is considered a sin for the rest and their consent is mandatory at any cost.
Any way, at the end of the day, when you aren’t working, you remain as that puppet of the house. And there is no motivation to keep you going.
Picture credits: Pexels
Founder of Sane Bites. "Splashes of Life", a list of five short stories adds to my credit in fictional writing! read more...
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, indivisual posts do not necessarily represent the platofrom's views and opinions at all times.
Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!
Vidhya came home with Riya. She was surprised to see the same expectations from her that were before from having a child. Nothing had changed, and she felt that nothing would ever change.
Vidhya was just like any other normal girl who grew up reading Cinderella and Rapunzel, wishing to meet her Prince charming someday. Though not a topper, she scored well in school and college and fulfilled her parent’s dream by joining as HR in a reputed financial firm.
After she settled in her career path, her parents began their hunt to find the perfect groom and complete their responsibility in life. Finally, after seeking permission from the stars in her chart, they fixed her wedding with Rahul, who according to them, got a tick for most of their eligibility criteria. She obliged and got married to him as per their wish.
Mothers do things for you out of love, so please treat them with respect and dignity at your home, especially in front of your in laws, and ask your in laws to share responsibilities.
Motherhood isn’t just a word. It’s a world in itself…of love, labor and commitment that goes beyond a lifetime, when we don’t really have a concept of flying the nest and mothers are required to be battle ready to shoulder every responsibility at any age.
As a new mom I too had my share of struggles like every woman, and reached out to my mom for help. Sadly, since she had health issues of her own she agreed reluctantly and was uneasy throughout her stay, which disappointed me. Only later did I know that she had suffered from serious menopausal problems that made her edgy and nervous in difficult situations, and it left me with a sense of regret of not taking the effort of understanding her troubles.
KBC crorepati Anamika Majumdar might be a winner, but her husband clearly considered her a 'not good enough wife'.
KBC crorepati Anamika Majumdar might be a winner, but her husband clearly considered her a ‘not good enough wife’.
Most people in India were glued to their television sets on 2nd October as Anamika Majumdar started playing Kaun Banega Crorepati. With media already having reported that she would be the first contestant of Season 9 to be winning Rs 1 crore, the excitement was unprecedented.
This episode was interesting to watch not just because we were expecting her to win Rs 1 crore, but because her personal story was inspiring.
The 'women are gold diggers' stereotype persists in jokes and memes, despite there being no evidence that women are any more money minded than men. “A stron
The ‘women are gold diggers’ stereotype persists in jokes and memes, despite there being no evidence that women are any more money minded than men.
“A strong woman asks only for 3 things from her man..Honesty, time and loyalty” – Unknown
Women are often stereotyped as those who love to shop and waste the hard earned money of their husbands or boyfriends. Check some of the videos on youtube and you will see women leaving the mall smiling while the poor husband is shown carrying a pile of shopping bags and an empty wallet.