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Your Daughter Is ‘Lucky’ As My Son ‘Helps’ In Chores. Really?

Posted: June 18, 2020

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Did I burn the midnight oil just to hear this today? That I earn only if my husband’s salary is not up to the mark? And once it is, I leave the job?

A cool rainy evening. The entire family is enjoying pakoras with tea and discussing how the weather has changed over the last couple of days. Both our mothers had come to visit us.

Once I earn more, you can leave the job

While we were chatting and enjoying the delicacies, suddenly my mother-in-law exclaimed, “Your daughter is so lucky, as my son helps her in the daily household chores! My poor son, he must be getting so tired with all this work!”

And without even listening to her, my mother jumped up in a defensive mode, “So what? My daughter goes to office and also supports him in running the finances of the house. Your son ought to help her.”

This discussion ended here, at least for them, but it was still playing over and over again in my head.

At night, when everyone went off to bed, I asked my husband what he thought of the discussion that had happened in the evening. And his reply just shocked me. He said, “Once my annual salary gets above 40 lakhs, you can leave the job.”

Whhhhaaaaaatttttttt? He has the same thoughts?! And that disgusted me.

I studied the same as him, and have similar dreams!

While I was studying, my parents always wanted me to study well and be independent. Did I burn the midnight oil just to hear this today? That I earn only if my husband’s salary is not up to the mark? And once it is, I leave the job?

That’s so foolish to even think of. I have a job because I love it. I love going to office everyday, I love solving client problems, and with all this I love working at home too. Trying all those new dishes on weekends, keeping the home spic and span, and playing with my kids. All this is a part of me. All this when knitted together makes me a whole.

I am not supporting anyone and neither am I asking for any help from my husband when he does the household chores. This home belongs to both of us. So both of us have an equal responsibility to keep it clean and do the daily chores. My husband doesn’t ‘help’ me when he does so.  He equally loves his place and should want to look after it. What he does is for himself.

Resolving the misconception

With all these thoughts running through my mind like a movie, I just couldn’t sleep that night. The next morning, I went to my mother in law and spoke to her, “This is your son’s home too. And it’s his choice to keep it as it looks today. He is certainly not ‘helping’ me.”

And after that I went to my mother and told her the same, “This is my home too. I like spending for it to keep it beautiful and investing together for our future. I am certainly not ‘supporting’ him.”

Both our moms got the message. And my husband too. Killing two birds with a stone!

Image courtesy YouTube

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