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Being single and happy is not something that gels well with our society's beliefs. But here are three ways you can choose to be happy - single or not!
Being single and happy is not something that gels well with our society’s beliefs. But here are three ways you can choose to be happy – single or not!
Being single and happy doesn’t fit with the ideology of our society. It is not unusual in one where marriages form the core of any woman’s identity. Our upbringing is tapered to align with the expectations of the society. Being someone’s daughter wife or mother, we constantly live under the shadow of someone’s identity.
Have you been asked if you are happy? Not if you are married. It is assumed that if you are married, you are happy. And it is a whole different thing if you aren’t. No one cares about that.
But it becomes everyone’s business if you are single – especially after divorce. I have been asked this countless times, “How do you manage to take on so much all alone and be happy?” There is a question within that question. I know that.
What they really wanna know is if I am really happy? If I am, then the next question is what do you do to be happy? I won’t lie and say that I don’t miss the cozy evenings, a glass of wine or occasional emotional talks with the ‘someone special.’ We all need it, sometimes. And so do I.
But if you rank my happiness on some scale, I would say that my score is in normal range. One can be happy or rather ‘one can choose to be happy.’ Of course, whether married or not, there would be ups and downs in everyone’s life. And one single thing should not or cannot define us. Yes, I am single and happy.
I am sharing few things that I do and could be of help to you as well (Even if you are married and not feeling so good)
The first thing that I always tell myself is to look back and see how much I have grown over these years. Had I not been put through these years of pain I probably wouldn’t have patience and the perseverance that I do now.
Knowing that I have thrived even during the toughest of my times, I believe that ‘this too shall pass.’ I have understood how important it is to love myself and believe in myself because even if no one else does, I do. And I will.
Our happiness should not be sourced from the external things in our life. We all have insecurities and they stem from our own fears and lack of confidence. Do you question ‘What if?’ That’s when we have doubts if we are enough.
We seek validations from friends, family and other confidants in our closed group and feel happy when we get so. One of the biggest challenges that we women face is to develop a life outside our responsibilities. I found my love for writing and traveling while I facing my insecurities.
It helps ladies! Go! Find your passion to be happy!
Yes! I know and I hear you. The society doesn’t change overnight. People will still judge you and it may seem to you that by turning our heads away, we are behaving like an ostrich.
But remember, ultimately it is YOU who will help YOU! Nobody else will. So, before you wean away your happiness for the sake of others, put on your oxygen mask. Get a thick skin and feel the wind beneath your feet. Start flying!
Here’s my favourite quote by Toni Morrison for some more motivation, ‘You wanna fly, you got to give up the shit that weighs you down’
Picture credits: Still from Bollywood movie Queen
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I am an IAS officer from UP cadre, having a passion for improving women's health. I am an OBGYN specialist and have MS Global health as my educational qualification. I do my best to read more...
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
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From all news reports, clearly, Aftab Poonawalla seems to be a psychopath, and It was a well-strategized story of domestic violence, abuse, subjugation, and a well-planned murder.
Trigger Warning: This deals with domestic violence, gaslighting, murder, and abetting violence, and may be triggering to survivors.
One case has gripped the nation and I do not need to mention which. My problem is with how the news reflects a victim’s character. The disrespect we show to someone who was long abused and lives no more is appalling. The disservice we do to her through spoken and written words lies in the sensationalizing of the entire case.
How do you spot a crazy human? They do not have two horns and red eyes. They may have no empathy but will show it to lure the victim, just like a child abuser lures a child with candy. Their grooming styles may vary but it is mostly about creating an untrue sense of safety and security around the victim. They present themselves as this effortless savior, an ultimate generous destination for a mentally and emotionally vulnerable person.
Fathers play a crucial role in nurturing and raising children, so why isn't paternity leave considered essential?
Some time ago, Bollywood couple Ranbir Kapoor and Alia Bhatt were in the news, yet again. An entertainment website, Bollywood Hungama, reported that the expectant father, Ranbir, wished to take paternity leave to spend time with his baby when it arrived.
The website claimed that the actor would not be signing new films for the time being. He would take care of the child, while his wife Alia would return to work at the earliest.
One would think the internet would laud this sweet and thoughtful gesture. Instead, Ranbir got trolled for his decision to be a stay-at-home dad. Netizens made fun of him; they claimed that it was because he had no offers in the pipeline, and Alia was far more successful than him. Others claimed that it was the right decision – his recent films (other than Brahmastra) had bombed, and it was time he reflected on his roles.
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