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Dear Husbands, Lockdown Is Not About Having Sex When And Where You Wish

Posted: April 20, 2020

Sex during lockdown is becoming yet another ‘duty’ for some wives. Husbands – stop! Having sex needs to be both partners’ choice, and not just yours.

“My husband asks for sex now and then since this lockdown, and I have no choice to say no. I am tired and I request for an end this lockdown please”, she said, and everyone laughed. Until now, this had been considered a most wearisome problem according to our ‘cultured’ society and people were not cool with this one.

So now here we are in a lockdown, sealed. We cannot get out of our houses anytime we wish and this is the best thing to do, to be safe. Homemakers on the other hand are overloaded with household chores, in which they are hardly helped by the men in the house. The morning’s breakfast, then lunch, evening tiffin, dinner, cleaning house, washing clothes, fulfilling every demand rising each minute and much much more. To all of this, some husbands are adding one more duty, ‘sex’.

Sex during lockdown is not a duty!

Your husband is not your boss, it’s not your job to have sex when and where he asks you to have it. Sex is not just about a physical closeness, it goes beyond that. It’s an emotion, a deep feeling that your mind, your heart, your body carries – it’s your choice too, it’s your wish too.

Even if your husband tells you, “Let’s do it now, I want it” – be aware that the sentence itself reveals his emotion, i.e. if the lockdown is full of sex without your consent, it’s completely wrong.

What norm forces a wife into sex?

I want to know, is there any law in the cultural law book which suggests that a wife should surrender herself to the bed when her husband desires it? I agree that lockdown is making us feel bored and frustrated, but we are all in this together. And boredom, frustration or any other thing does not mean that a husband heighten his desires and demands it from his wife now and then.

Dear husbands…

Dear husbands, you need to understand that you are no one to decide for your wife. It’s her choice too. She cannot suffer for your desires because she has hers too. Having sex is every couple’s personal issue but when it becomes the personal choice of the man but not of the woman, how fair is this? It is the personal choice of the woman too.

You have your freedom but…

Yes, you are an independent woman, you have your freedom, you take every decision except for the one of having sex according to your partner’s desire to have it now, here, again and again, each day, each night, anytime.

Just say no.

Dear ladies, just say no if you don’t want to. He is your husband but he does not own you. You should and can take your own decisions. It’s your body, your choice, your wish; sex cannot be unidirectional. Both partners should decide whether they want to, when and where etc. You can say no. There is no rule which stops you from saying this.

Having sex needs to be both partners’ choice, and not just of the husband or male partner.

Top image is a screengrab from the movie Lipstick Under My Burkha

What is Domestic Violence & How to report domestic Violence - घरेलु हिंसा से बचाव (in Hindi)

Comments

1 Comment


  1. Unfortunately, this is deeply embedded in our society

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