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While being 'happily married' is a concept we are familiar with, no one really talks about marital rape. Isn't that an important aspect of marriage too?
While being ‘happily married’ is a concept we are familiar with, no one really talks about marital rape. Isn’t that an important aspect of marriage too?
Marriage is a very big deal in India. It has occupied such a large space in our psyche that we spend more than half of our waking life either thinking or talking about it.
But one thing that either escapes everyone’s psyche or the one thing that not many people want to talk about is ‘marital rape’.
There are people from the judiciary, politics and the rest of our society who actually believe that criminalising marital rape will ‘destabilise the institution of marriage’. It would be fair to ask if we really need an institution like this that does nothing to prevent the exploitation of women.
These are the same people who tell us that criminalising marital rape may lead to a number of fraudulent cases against men. A statement like this simply indicates two things: mistrust of married women in general, and a failure of our legal and medical system to separate fake rape claims from the genuine ones.
Marriage is a contract between two people to live together. But what is the point of such a contract when one party uses it as a tool to take away the rights of the very person he marries, leaving them helpless?
It is sad to see families plan their daughter’s weddings even before they are born. They have the audacity to call them ‘paraya dhan’ (Someone else’s money.)
(Fuck the correctness of my translation, how can you equate your kids to money?!)
They treat her like a burden to be literally disposed off (in most cases) to the mercy of some other family. They put themselves under immense financial, psychological and physiological burden to execute the whole wedding.
But they are the same people who will hesitate before asking the government for a single piece of legislation that will protect their daughters. These people look for a ‘happy’ married life as opposed to a safe one.
It really tells you a lot about who we are if we keep celebrating someone getting married. But fall silent as soon as the safety of that very person comes into question.
If there is someone who wants to know what people in our society really think about this subject go watch this video:
A version of this was published here.
Picture credits: Screenshot from the movie Saat Khoon Maaf that deals with marital rape in one of its segments.
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I wanted to scream with excitement that my daughter chose to write about her ambition and aspirations over everything else first. To me, this was one of those parenting 'win' moments.
My daughter turned eight years old in January, and among the various gifts she received from friends and family was an absolutely beautiful personal journal for self-growth. A few days ago, she was exploring the pages when she found a section for writing a letter to her future self. She found this intriguing and began jotting down her thoughts animatedly.
My curiosity piqued and she could sense it immediately. She assured me that she would show me the letter soon, and lo behold, she kept her word.
I glanced at her words, expecting to see a mention of her parents in the first sentence. But, to my utter delight, the first thing she had written about was her AMBITION. Yes, the caps here are intentional because I want to scream with excitement that my daughter chose to write about her ambition and aspirations over everything else first. To me, this was one of those parenting ‘win’ moments.
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