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Why do we insist on women and transgender people conforming to a certain norm of appearance, to appreciate their value?
Like the different parts of our body, our skin is also susceptible to different kinds of medical issues. There are specialised fields like dermatology dealing with these problems. A dermatologist or a skin specialist is someone that you should consult for taking care of skin ailments and conditions that can prove to be hazardous to your health if left untreated.
Your physical and mental well being cannot be compromised and thus seeking proper skincare with the help of professionals is the right thing to do.
Unfortunately, the problem is that women and transgender people around the world are judged, humiliated and even subjected to physical harm at least a million times more than men when it comes to the way they look. We (read men) are shameless and shallow enough to discriminate against other genders and ridicule them on things like skin colour, body shape, body hair, face etc.
We cannot take refuge in the excuse that we were not aware of our own biases. That may or may not have been true when we were kids but not anymore. Any adult who makes another person feel small by their words or actions cannot has no right to claim that they didn’t realize what they were doing. We all know very well what we have said and done as a society over the years and how we have behaved towards women and transgender people.
We expect them to maintain a particular look to appear desirable to our (read, men’s) senses, not realising that there is something horribly wrong with us for making the other person go through so much pain, just to cater to our whimsical nature.
We tell them to be individualistic and different but we don’t like the way they look, think or conduct themselves.
We tell them to hide what we (again, read men) perceive as flaws within them, using products that are not only expensive but can also cause adverse reactions while endangering their health at the same time. Many of these products have been subsequently banned due to the clear health hazards that they pose to their customers.
Companies and celebrities have often been guilty of peddling such cosmetics to the general public in the name of these absurd beauty standards that no one should have to aim for. Why the hell can beauty be seen as a metric that needs to be standardised and how have we been okay with this nonsense for so long?
If this is what we have become as a society and as a civilisation then I am sorry to say that there is something awfully wrong with us and the way we think.
Shouldn’t we be more accepting towards the other person and create an environment where they are free to live their way without constantly acting as the self-appointed moral police?
Image credits Matt Moloney, via Unsplash
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Chetan Bhagat had no business slut shaming Uorfi Javed or any other woman. If he wants to 'guide' young men in the 'right direction' then he should take accountability for his words.
Chetan Bhagat, one of India’s bestselling authors, thought it was an ingenious idea to slut-shame Uorfi Javed, an Indian actress and influencer, at the Sahitya Aaj Tak literature festival.
“Phone has been a great distraction for the youth, especially the boys, spending hours just watching Instagram Reels. Everyone knows who Uorfi Javed is. What will you do with her photos? Is it coming in your exams or you will go for a job interview and tell the interviewer that you know all her outfits? On one side, there is a youth who is protecting our nation at Kargil and on another side, we have another youth who is seeing Uorfi Javed’s photos hiding in their blankets.”
Uorfi Javed responded with a video on her Instagram stories calling out Bhagat’s bluff. She shared the screenshots of his previous chat conversations with Ira Trivedi, author and yoga instructor, which came to light during the #MeToo movement.
While boys are taught to naturally own the space they enter, girls are taught to give up, to accommodate, to adjust since "it is their primary responsibility to keep families and relations together."
Yesterday, I was watching these 4 young girls around 16 – 17 years old play badminton. They were having fun, goofing around with all 4 of them equally involved in the game.
In some time two of their male friends joined them, and as part of round robin, the 2 boys replaced two of the girls. All good.
As the play continued, I started noticing a change in the way the game was being played. The shuttle was played most of the times between the two boys and there was a sense of competition and aggression brought in. The other 2 girls playing soon starting losing interest in the game as they hardly got any game time. Even if the shuttle came towards them, the boy in their team would move and play that shot. They soon moved to the sidelines as the boys continued to play.
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