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Dear future MIL, please let my future husband into the kitchen to cook too. For when we get married, I like to believe we will share these responsibilities!
Dear future MIL, please let my future husband into the kitchen to help you cook. For when we get married, I like to believe we will share these responsibilities!
I am a 21-year-old young girl! And I am extremely passionate about my work. I work hard, I study, I read and write and I also watch Netflix. And yes, I hang out with my friends, I go to restaurants, I shop and right now, I am following the lockdown too. I do things that most people my age do. Maybe, even everything that my guy friends and brothers do.
And as it happens to a lot of girls around me, something happened with me too. Well, I am not a kitchen person. And hence, people around me suggest that I learn to cook, how to make those round rotis and sabjee and puran poli too! None of this because I should learn to cook for myself but because in three to four year, I’d have to get married. And that’s when, ‘tab mai pati ko kya khilaungi?’ (what, then, will I feed my husband?)
Are we really in 2020?
I don’t understand why people underestimate my future husband. We should believe in gender equality, since it is the need right now. Despite most of our differences, my husband would still be an equal to me.
Like me, he too will have a job, a house and his own voice, dreams and perceptions of life. He would also have his career and his family. And we would create our own world. We would be partners.
If he changes the bulb while standing on a stool, I will fit the fan. Yes, he won’t have to deal with the mood swings, labour and vomiting of the pregnancy, but that’s just one thing. He can’t be judged only on the basis of that.
Even in 2020, why are we still underestimating my future husband? Why would he need me to cook food for him? If he is capable of doing everything I do, why is there this discrimination? He will cook food. Shouldn’t he be taught to do so for his own self?
Both of us will have jobs, vacations and days of work from home too. We would earn money- an amount okay for the two of us and maybe our future babies. And every expense will be a shared one.
Similarly, cooking will be shared too, like why should there be discrimination? If he cooks in the morning, I will do so at night. And if he makes roti, I will make the subjee. If he makes the morning tea, I will make the evening one.
We will share. I do hope he is taught to share, to cook and he is not kept away from his right to cook just like his father and brothers and friends were.
It’s time I shouldn’t stand for this discrimination and so I raise my voice. And I urge and request all the parents not to keep their sons away from their right to cook, else they will be underestimated all their lives.
Their sons will be underestimated too and the sons of their sons. Cooking is a universal right and isn’t based on gender. It isn’t only a woman’s job, aren’t men equally capable of cooking for their wives?
Picture credits: YouTube
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If you want to get back to work after a break, here’s the ultimate guide to return to work programs in India from tech, finance or health sectors - for women just like you!
Last week, I was having a conversation with a friend related to personal financial planning and she shared how she had had fleeting thoughts about joining work but she was apprehensive to take the plunge. She was unaware of return to work programs available in India.
She had taken a 3-year long career break due to child care and the disconnect from the job arena that she spoke about is something several women in the same situation will relate to.
More often than not, women take a break from their careers to devote time to their kids because we still do not have a strong eco-system in place that can support new mothers, even though things are gradually changing on this front.
A married woman has to wear a sari, sindoor, mangalsutra, bangles, anklets, and so much more. What do these ornaments have to do with my love, respect, and commitment to my husband?
They: Are you married?
They: But You don’t look like it
Me: (in my Mind) Why should I?
Why is being married not enough for a woman, and she needs to look married too? I am tired of such comments in the nearly four years of being married.
I believe that anything that is forced is not right. I must have a choice. I am a living human, not a puppet. And I am not stopping anyone by not following any tradition. You are free to do whatever you like to do. But do not force others. It’s depressing.