Make Boys ‘Sanskaari’ Again – Why We Need To Educate Boys About ‘Sanskaari’ Women

Posted: December 7, 2019

With the Hyderabad police coming up with a fourteen point advisory for women, here is a list of a few more things that can be done to basically avoid rape!

Earlier last week, the rape and murder of the vet in Hyderabad shook the entire nation to its core. With several other rape reports coming in the open in the days that followed, I decided to make a few rules that we, as a society can follow to avoid rapes.

There are a number of ways that the society has in place to ensure a woman’s safety and prevent them from being raped or sexually assaulted. Here is how it actually should be.

Beta Padhao, Beta Bachao

Educate the boys. Inculcate in them moral values. Teach them to respect women. It is high time we make our boys ‘sushil’ and ‘sanskari’

Don’t go out at night

Since boys are the ones responsible for such heinous and violent crime, we need to ensure that parents keep their sons at leash. Why should girls restrict their freedom just because men can’t control their hormones? Instead of telling girls not to go out at night, I think, it is time we put restrictions on our sons.

Don’t wear short/revealing clothes

We need to stop blaming girls for their lifestyle and clothes for being molested and raped. If clothes were the issue, a 3 year old child wouldn’t get raped.

Stop making girls insecure about their body. If a boy has the right of wear shorts so does girls. Instead of telling girls to cover their bodies, send your son out with a blind fold- if girl’s body makes them uncontrollable.

Don’t drink or party

Please tell your son not to go out and party or drink and loiter around the streets at night if they can’t control themselves!

Let girls enjoy their freedom and party and drink as they want, because we girls know how to control ourselves. It is the boys who can’t control themselves and hence they need to be kept on a leash.

Remember that if men drinking and smoking and partying is not wrong, the same rule applies for women as well.

Sundar, sushil, sanskaari… not!

There is this widespread perception in our society that girls need to be ‘sundar, sushil and saskaari.’

Most men grow up with this perception of women. And any girl they see out of this sanskari image, is assumed as ‘easy and characterless.’ We are in the 21st century and we need to understand that men and women are equal. What men do, women can too.

If the society doesn’t label men wrong for partying, smoking, drinking and wearing shorts, they shouldn’t label women as characterless for the same. We need to raise our sons with this understanding that men and women are equal, in all aspect of life.

One of the lawyers of the 2012 Delhi rape case, directed the blame on the victim. And claimed that she was not a respectable woman as she was roaming with her boyfriend late at night. He further said that respectable women are not raped. I believe, this kind of thinking is one of the major reasons for rape. And hence, the need of the hour is to change this mindset, especially among young sons.

We need justice, don’t we?

Speedy justice is what we need. The 2012 Delhi rape case, was one that stirred up the entire nation due to its heinous and violent nature. It took eight months for the conviction of the crime, even though all the perpetrators were identified with the first few days.

And yet we can’t call it justice, as the criminals are still in jail awaiting their death sentence. What’s more is that one of the accused recently demanded mercy petition.

Similarly, in the recent, Hyderabad case, the criminals were identified, arrested but killed in an encounter. But why should it take nine or ten months for justice to be delivered?

What can be done

The increasing case of rape and molestation is alarming. We need to understand that restricting woman’s freedom and putting them at check is not going to stop this rape culture. It’s high time that we understand that the only person responsible for rape is the rapist and hence there is an urgent need to put restrictions on men!

Educate your son, teach them that men and women are equal, and don’t raise them with a wrong perception about ‘sanskari women.’

Whenever we hear of a rape case, we see thousands of messages telling girls to be safe, not to go out. We see women getting a list of dos and don’ts, but no one tells boys to be responsible.

It’s time we understand that blaming women and restricting women will not stop rape! Educating men, changing mindset, a faster judicial mechanism, stricter criminal justice system, is what needs to be looked at to stop rape and molestation.

Picture Credits: a still from the film Dhadak

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Srijana Chhetri- Post Graduate in Development studies from Azim Premji University and Sociology from IGNOU

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