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Fair and lovely had always been the norm in our country. However, here is one dusky woman owning her skin colour and loving it!
People who aren’t fair are generally looked down upon. Despite being in the 21st century, with the amount of progress, we have made, people still talk about being fair as an important quality.
Being fair has always been a measure of how beautiful someone is. And that is why you see the cosmetic industry bloom like no other.
With fairness creams all over the place, I only wonder what we are going to teach the future generations. Are we going to tell them that since you are not fair but dusky the society would not find you beautiful or handsome? Or are we going to tell them that fairness is always going to weigh heavier than your talent? Or that your colour is greater than any quality you have?
It is extremely saddening, not because I have seen people going through it but also because I have first hand experience. While I was in college, people would often discriminate on the basis of my colour. But I somehow learnt to deal with it.
Here is the ordeal I personally grew through!
Once I turned 25 years old my parents began looking for a guy so that I could marry and settle down. To be honest, I came across a barrage of rishtas (marriage proposals) who had their own way of judging me and my ‘beauty’.
There was this particular proposal that shook me to the core. As a part of the process, my bio-data and pictures were sent to guy’s father and a reply was awaited. However even after a week there was no reply from their end.
My parents decided to text them once again in order to know why they didn’t get back! On texting the guy’s father he came up with a reply which was not only to enough to make my parents and me furious but it was extremely disheartening.
He said, “Humara beta to bohot zyada gora hai aur aapki Beti Saawli. Humko humare bete ke liye ekdum fair biwi chahiye kyuki humara beta gora aur khoobsurat hai.” (Our son is extremely fair, while your daughter has a dusky complexion. We want him to marry someone as fair as him, since he is fair and handsome.)
After listening to this my parents decided to write a reply.
They wrote back saying, “Bada accha laga aapki baatein sunkar (sarcasm). Aap iss zamane me bhi saawle aur gore me farak karte ho. Humari beti bhale hi gori nahi hai magar woh who talented or kaabil hai. Isilye aap apne bête ke liye ek behad gori ladki dhund sakte hain.” (Your reply was wonderful. Even in today’s world, you differentiate between fair and dusky. Our daughter may not be fair but she is talented and completely self-reliant. So, you can go find your son an extremely fair wife!)
I was extremely proud of the reply and it made me feel like I was on top of the world to know how beautifully my parents backed me up.
After this too, I was rejected by two or three other guys simply because of my complexion.
But to be precise, all of this does not matter anymore! I am extremely proud of my complexion. And I know this is one complexion which most of the people in Europe crave for, and hence the sun-bathing (winks).
My colour does not define how determined I am or how talented or hard working I am. It is a complexion which has been passed on to me by my parents (Thanks to my father’s South Indian genes).
I can proudly say that I am dusky and I love it!
No matter what your complexion is, do not allow anyone to put you down.
You are enough and you are more than your complexion!
So be it a boy or girl all we must teach them is…you are beautiful and handsome irrespective of your colour. And you need no fairness cream to look pretty!
Let your mannerism and talent do the talking.
Picture credits: Screenshot of actress Chitrangada Singh from the movie Desi Boyz
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A Nutritionist,Clinical Dietitian,Speaker,health/fitness blogger who runs a nutrition website named NutriBond
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Yes, I Am A Dusky Woman And I’m Perfectly Happy With The Way I Look!
Our Fixation With Fairness: Not-So-Lovely
Being Dark, Dusky, Is Not A Disability, Being Black, Brown Is Not A Disease!
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